To Whom it May Concern: Blog Withdrawal

It started out so innocently. I was bored at Heartless cellular company. My manager told me to kill some time because I was making my teammates look bad by actually being productive. He gave me the password to be able to read blogs and chat boards from my work computer. I saw a post on The Nest that asked “what mommy blogs do you read?” Mommy Blog? What the heck is that?, I wondered. I was about five months pregnant and voraciously reading anything “Mommy” related. Dooce.com was the only one mentioned in the responses to the original post so I wandered on over to read my very first blog entry.

It was friggin hilarious. I read back through her archives and was enthralled. She had a post that listed the blogs that she reads everyday. I followed her cue to Finslippy, Fussy, and Mighty Girl. I was officially a hooked blog reader. I expanded and started reading blogs I found on my own, Amalah, Looky Daddy and more. I branched out from just parenting blogs and started to read humor, politics, and activist blogs as well. I am a crazy fast reader so I could spend 30 minutes a day and catch up on 10 blogs easily.

This is where you come in. You started your own blog. A Blog! From someone I know! That I can read everyday and it will be like an email just from you that shares your innermost thoughts and is funny and SQUEEEE! Breathe. I laughed, I cried, I was inspired with ideas for The Huckablog. And then your posts dropped from daily to bi-weekly, to weekly to oh yeah I should post something eventually. The whole time I faithfully added you to my blogroll. I directed others, friends and strangers to your site. I had faith in you, in your writing and knew you would entertain and motivate. I checked your site everyday. Then every other day. And now? I am thinking seriously about dropping you from my blogroll.

Please do not make me drop you. I rarely check blogs not on the blogroll anymore because I no longer have a boss that encourages me to goof off. My boss is much more demanding now. I have to sneak in internet time between naps, and early bedtimes. For the love of whomever will invoke you, post something already. It does not have to be perfect, it does not have to be particularly galvanizing; I do not have to be made to laugh or weep with every entry. You do not have to post every single day, I think two or three times a week is well within proper blogiquette. I can only go through one form of withdrawal at a time, so please just BLOG already!

Yours Sincerely,

Hey You Desperatelyseekingnewposts-Huckablog

p.s. A tweet does not equal blogging. Thank you very much.

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To Whom it May Concern: You get what you pay for.

To Whom it May Concern:

I take my family’s follicle appearance very seriously. I also have made the lifestyle changes necessary to make it possible for my family to live on one income. This leads me to you. In exchange for the use of our heads to practice your fledgling skills and four dollars of course, you give us hair cuts. The whole point is that we tell you what we want. You do that. Your professor watches and makes sure you don’t screw up. Simple.  Why did I not think of charging other people for my education?  I could have made millions of….pennies from the people who I had to survey, or write thesis (thesi?) on.

The problem comes when the professor has three other people he is supervising at the same time. And when the professor won’t shut his yap long enough to pay attention to something other than himself. And when the professor has differing tastes in what looks good from the one who is paying aforementioned four dollars. To be honest, I really do not care if you jack up other people’s hair. Maybe the guy next to us liked that slanty flat top you gave him. I do care when it effects my baby’s head.

I said I LIKE IT LONG! I said JUST GET IT OUT OF HIS EYES! The sad thing is that the student did an okay job. The professor walked over, took the scissors out of his hands and proceeded to cut off whole inches of my darling baby’s hair. *sob* You left him looking like a boy. A boy with a bad hair cut. So what are you going to do about it? Glue it back on?

Bah. You suck. I will skip a couple of happy hours at Sonic and pay the eight dollars down the street next time.

Sincerely,

Hey You E. Pissed Off-Huckablog

Before (with chocolate frosting)

After

Okay, not really, but it is still much to short. The Little Deuce Coup pictures were taken post haircut.

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To Whom it May Concern: Getting it off my chest.

This is one of those “therapy” posts. It may just sit in my drafts box indefinitely. Maybe not. Feel free to skip it and move along.

To Whom it May Concern:

You have hurt me. Even worse? You have hurt US. We all embraced you with open arms, we loved you, we gave to you all that we had. You took and took and took and We kept on giving.

When I found out about you, I was thrilled. I was on your side. I pushed others into accepting and loving you. I thought we could be more. I thought you could fill a hole I thought we had. I gave in every way, and defended you….to others and to myself. When I caught on to your game of take, take, take, and I stopped giving so freely, you cut me out. You tried to make me the bad guy. You tried to separate US. Luckily we are stronger than you.

Now you are alone, separate by your own choice. That would be fine, good even, if you were not trying to take one of US with you. I am terrified of the hole that will be left if you succeed. Physical distance we can handle, but cutting all ties would leave a gaping wound that no amount of replacing or substituting could heal.

You have gotten so much from US. You can make it on your own, and we have nothing left to give you, you rejected our love and respect, and it will not be re-offered. At least not any time soon. I guess time matures everyone, you….and I included. Will you stay long enough to find out if there is nothing in it for you?

I am responsible for the emotional well being of someone who all of US love. I will not let the acid, the bile, the miles, hurt him. Have you not noticed he was even missing from your life? I can assure you that is a loss, a monumental void.

I would tell you to get lost already, to leave US all alone, but I think that some of US are kinder than I am. And I care about hurting them. So I will keep my mouth shut, go through the motions, and hope pray for a change.

Sincerely,

Hey You E. Disappointed-Huckablog

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