Irrational
You know The Son was born at Pi right? Yup. 3:14 pm. So maybe he is irrational by birth. Maybe it is his age. Maybe it is poor parenting. Maybe aliens kidnapped my sweet baby and brought back a little tyrant. Maybe it is that full moon. Whatever it is –I am this (holding fingers very close together) close to going totally bonkers.
Today (using that term loosely since it is now 1:12 am) he: Threw a fit because I would not let him DRIVE MY TRUCK. Ran away from me in a crowded restaurant. Cried when I made him wear pants outside…in 30 degree weather. Absolutely LOST HIS MIND when I told him he had to wear a hat and gloves to help Daddy hang Christmas lights. Told me I was mean because I would not let him buy the 359$ train set at the hardware store. Steadfastly refused to take a much needed (for me) nap. Had not one, but TWO, potty related accidents–one of which he removed his underwear for so he could pee on the futon in his room and then put back on his Lighting McQueen underoos–the other less than three seconds after his Daddy asked him if he needed to go. Purposely stuck his fingers in his mouth to make himself gag. Screamed at the top of his lungs when the light was turned off for bed.
Someone tell me that whole this too passing thing again?
Filed under Boy is my face red, Parenting for Dummies, The Son, lexapro lexplains it | Comments (6)Things kids (well really just my kid) say
When on the potty he likes to read a “Magzegnet”.
He handed out tiny pieces of bread to all of his toys and told them each “Jesus loves you.”
“I need to not drink so fast cause my teeth will cough.” (hiccups)
This morning when putting on his boots he got them not quite right, when I told him they were on the wrong feet he replied, “These are my only feet!”
He told me on Thanksgiving that he was thankful his teacher’s hair was so yellow.
“I would like my shadow better if it talked.”
Now tell me what your little guys have said this week, or what you said when you were a kiddo!
Filed under Boy is my face red, NaBloPoMo, The Son | Comments (5)Not approved by the ACLU.
He is three. He goes two mornings a week to a very small, private preschool. We live in the south. Glenn Beck has very high ratings here.
These are not excuses…but come on..this is cute.
I am really, really sorry to any Native American readers. I know your ancestors never wore necklaces made out of froot loops, or vests made out of paper bags. But the cuteness? Surely we agree on that right?
While we are offending people, Hey, Peta? Yeah, they were singing a song about killing Mr. Turkey in a most violent way. The Son thinks the song was about a BOAT and arrow. Not that he sang it. No, he just stood there, and you guessed it. Looked cute.
Filed under Boy is my face red, NaBloPoMo, The Son | Comments (4)Silent Sunday: Leaves and My Kiddo
Cutastrophe ‘aught nine.
Alternate title: In which I overreact on a huge scale.
He inherited a head full of crazy cowlicks from The Husband’s side of the family, and a thick head full of independent and stubborn hair from mine. Buzz cuts are just not my style, and short, short little boy hair is cute on other little boys….but, I like MY kiddo to have as long of hair as my hubby will allow. If it were just up to me he would be sporting a shaggy skater do.
This kid just needed a teeny, teeny, itsy bit taken off of his bangs. Our usual and most wonderful stylist K had a baby one week exactly before this one. I reasoned that there was no need to drive 25 minutes and bother K just for a teeny little bang trim. Surely anybody who is a licensed stylist could handle that, right?
Wrong. I told her to just trim them to his eyebrows. First snip of the scissors saw three inches of hair on the cape. I literally gasped. Calm down, calm down. It is just a little short. Snip. Snip. Snip. Fourth cut. ACK! FOUR INCHES right off the front. “Your kid is moving! He needs to mind me and hold still.” “I am standing right here! He is holding perfectly still.” “Well, he is making me nervous.” “You are making ME nervous.”
I picked him up, removed his cape, and walked out, not paying, four cuts into the worst hair massacre ever. WAY worse than this. You think I am exaggerating?
And it looked even crazier in real life.
I called K in tears. I felt like I was confessing to cheating on her. She graciously invited us to her home, let me cuddle her babies, and calmed me down.
She is awesome–but she is not God, and cannot magically grow hair, so the end result is still A LOT shorter than this pseudohippy would like, but it is much better.
Lesson learned: if you love who cuts your hair–NEVER EVER go somewhere else, even for a teeny trim. Oh, and also? K said she would have cried too.
Filed under Boy is my face red, Friends-All three of them, NaBloPoMo, Parenting for Dummies, The Son, lexapro lexplains it, stupidity | Comments (6)More as story develops.
Oh sweet Jesus, here is the before. Yeah, he needed a haircut. I get it.
Baby fever is affecting my brain.
I was looking for pictures for another post and I got distracted.
Look at his little old man hair. Now I have to comb a thick mess every morning. Well. I should comb it.
This is a little BABY. This baby told me today “Mama, I feel frustrated that the Sneetchs are so mean.” I had to spell check frustrated. My kid says words I can’t spell.
Look at that chub! The wrists are killing me. That is nothing but breast milk chub.
This is not looking good people. The fever has hit, and I am afraid I may be a casualty.
Now what?
photos by JHJ, November 2006
Filed under NaBloPoMo, Photography, The Son | Comments (12)