I was in love with him.  I wanted to be with him at all times.  Lordy, was I ever attracted to him.  I trusted him to not hurt me, but I still wanted to be in control.  I still was counting on taking care of myself, with my parents as a fall back.   I’m not sure I even knew HOW to really respect him.

You know that I was an awesome student, right? Well, if I were to write a mid-term paper on what I have learned in the class of love I would say there are two reasons we have a stronger marriage today than we did seven years ago.  1.  When we got married we promised to have faith that God had put us together, and that he would continue to use us for his good. 2.  We are both hard workers.  You see that is one of the most important thing I have gained from this man–love takes work.

It is one of the beautiful truths of life; loving each other in action–what we do and say–produces romance.  Everything in American culture teaches the opposite, that romance turns into love–but that is simply wrong.  Love is a choice and we choose how we’re going to treat our spouses in the good –and in the not-so-good–times.

My husband has taught me that the reality is an enduring, loving, thriving marriage can be built by simply changing how we interact with our spouse.

My husband has shown me that a modicum of kindness, selflessness, and respect goes a very long way.

My advice to newlyweds would be to accept the fact that your spouse isn’t perfect and then start taking notice of all the good.  Focusing on the good allows you to sort of train your mind to be grateful for who they are–which is so much better than feeling disappointed about who they are not.  Then TELL HIM (or her).  Tell him thank you for being a wonderful provider, tell him that he makes the world’s best grilled cheese, tell him that his short cut really was faster, remind him that you love the way they look with crazy David Bowie hair first thing in the morning, tell him he is an amazing father, and tell the whole world that YOU LOVE HIM.

Now I trust my life to this man–mine and our child’s.  Now I know that he will do everything in his power to take care of and provide for his family.  I respect his decisions and am learning to accept that sometimes because he says so is a good enough reason.   I am honored to be his wife.

Happy Valentine’s Day.

How I can have absolute trust that my husband can provide for us.

But.

There is a sense of control that you lose when you are completely dependent upon another person financially.  I can worry all I want about his career but there is nothing I can do to help him succeed.  This is not to say I have one of those husbands who is lazy, or who is complacent.  It is just that when I was working I felt like I was in control of my destiny at every job I had.   If I wanted a raise or a promotion, I worked hard and got one. If I wanted to do just the status quo and skate by unnoticed while I job hunted or read blogs all day then I did.

Now I have to just sit back and let those things happen–or not.

Where is this coming from today?   Something like a third of my husband’s co-workers have been laid-off in the last two days, and his boss is no longer his boss.   My Husband still has his job–and it seems like if he were going to be let go, it would have happened today.  It is just as he whispered to me last night….sometimes our life seems too good to be true.  This career of his that lets us pay our bills, allows me to raise our son full time, even allows for the occasional luxury–it is what people dream of.

But what if?

The Husband is brilliant and has a great work ethic, and is both well educated and has a fair amount of experience.  I am confidant that if he did lose his job–he could get another one–we would be okay.  I just can’t help but worry.  Would we go broke in the interim?  Would I have to go find a job right away?  What would we do with The Son if I went to work?  What kind of job would I even look for?

I just read that a couple with children should have an entire YEAR’s worth of expenses in savings for job loss, or emergency.  Um, a YEAR?  If we had a year’s worth of expenses in savings we could–and probably would-pay off our MORTGAGE.

Do people really have that much set aside?  Should I go get a job just so we can have that in savings? We think no.  We are going to trust that we will be taken care of, and that our faith and hard work will pull us through any rainy days ahead.

But I still worry.

post edit:  I went back and re-read this post and realized what is missing.  I am a Christian.  Yes, my husband is our provider–but not really.  I do try to pray about this–all the time!  But I still worry.  Why?

Whatever.  (sidenote:  The Son totally looked at me today and said “Whatever, you can just do what you want.”  Who taught him that?!)

Oh, and on the way home we stopped at the navy museum.  I did not even bother taking in my camera that time.

Here we have lovely picture of a jet thing.  It was cool according to The Hubs.

This is where we spent the bulk of our time.  Cock pit training thing.

Some of us were very excited.

Some of us are still talking about it.

How did he know what to do here?  I am quite certain that the Wiggles have never covered air warfare.

He told me this button “made the fire that goes POW!”  Great.  So much for him not knowing about guns.

I wonder if this lever would have ejected me back to the beach?

Back outside to look at the helicopters.  Mama gets left behind.

At least I have my camera to keep me company.  Why does this say Army if we are at an Airforce museum?   Still do not know the answer.

Look!  A flower to take pictures of!  There are approximately 49 pictures of this hibiscus in my camera–and two of the helicopter.  I can’t help it.  I am a stereotypical girl–and proud of it.    Next time I get dropped off at the condo.

When The Husband and I were on our honeymoon, we were going to go parasailing in the Bahamas.  We were on the boat.  They started putting on our harnesses…and, the boat broke!  No parasailing for us that day.  The Husband hoped I would forget about it, it seems he never really even WANTED to go pararsailing, he was just going to do it for his new bride!  I did NOT forget.  I did my research and we found Just Chute Me in Destin.  Their reviews were hands down the best.  I booked a “flight” for myself and told them I would be bringing two observers along.

We drove out a good ways off shore.  Honestly the view from the boat was spectacular, but I did not notice since I had few pterodactyls in my stomach.

My inner dialogue : “This is going to be fun. This is going to be fun.  For heavens sake smile so The Son does not freak.  If I die, it will be a cool way to go.”

Please do not be blinded by my thighs.  We Huckablogs are pale people who firmly believe in sunscreen.

“This is not scary!  This is awesome! Beautiful!  Peaceful!”

“Ooh.  Look!  I see fish!”

“No worries, I am having FUN!”

“This is so worth every dime (we got a discount for The Son and all of us were given the coupon rate, it was $90 for all three of us, not including tip–which you should absolutely do.).  I have never seen such colors of blue and green.”

“It is impossibly QUIET up here.  I am a Mother of a Pre-Schooler, I NEVER hear NOTHING.”

Back on board the boat,  someone is not so thrilled his mother is 800 feet up.  He wants his mama back.

The boat stopped and I just kinda dangled there.

They had asked if I wanted my toes to get dipped.  I said yes. Knees? Yes.  Hips? Yes.  Back? Um.  Shoulders? No.  This all seemed fine before I went up and even while I was up in the air–but as they pulled me in to “dip” me?  I saw HUGE JELLYFISH!!

I am not exaggerating for blogs sake here–THERE WERE JELLYFISH BIGGER THAN A MIATA.  LOTS OF THEM.  And I was being “dipped” right on top of them.  I was thinking of that scene in Finding Nemo where Marlin and Dory were jumping on top of the jellyfish so as not to get stung.  “So stay on top?  What was I thinking?  You DO NOT TAKE SAFETY ADVICE FROM A PIXAR MOVIE.  Well.  I hope it does not hurt too bad.”

I had jellyfish all around me, but did NOT get stung once.  I think that they were really deep but I could not tell since I was so high when I spotted them.  Those sun bleached boat drivers knew exactly what they were doing.

Little boy was glad mama was back.  I was glad for the hugs and kisses–but had SO MUCH FUN.  I would do it a thousand times more.  Just wait–as soon as this kid hits six–we are going together.

It was a good way to spend a Wednesday morning–and we ALL had fun.

Photo credits: The Husband and blond beach bum driver dude. (my camera)

More beach pictures soon!

Dear Internet,

I am here–with my sweet husband and my adorable son and we are having a great time.  I would say that I wished you were here, but I don’t.  The three of us are enjoying each other, walks on the beach, chasing seagulls, picking up shell fragments, giggling at every single wave, building sand castles,  jumping in pools, reapplying sunscreen, eating yummy seafood, and deciding what to do next (PARASAILING!).   See you next week.

Love, Me.

I closed comments on this post because for some reason it was getting spammed like crazy and I am not spending my precious vacation moderating comments.  Sorry, the losers ruin it for us all.

2.  He gives the best rendition of Green Eggs and Ham you have EVER heard.  The Son’s (and mine) favorite part is when he pretends he is underwater.

3.  He brings me my half a pill every single night.

4.  He takes an entire handful of vitamins at the same time.

5.  The air conditioner was broken in the hospital the day he was born.  His mother loves him anyway.

6. He had Garfield checks when we first met.

7.  Even though he now listens to Rush and Glenn Beck almost daily, he voted for Bill Clinton.

8.  He and our Son have the same middle name.  Among many other traits.

9.  He is a tee-totaler, meaning he will not even sip alcohol.

10.  When he was a teenager–he….well lets just say that he did more than sipping of wine coolers.

11.  He wants to wear khaki pants and a blue polo to work everyday.  He wants to wear khaki shorts and a brown or blue t-shirt at all other times.

12.  He helps The Son make me a cross for my collection every mother’s day.

13.  He graduated high school when he was 17.

14.  He likes to swim in pools way more than in lakes or oceans or rivers because he “can see the bottom, and what lives there.”

15.  He hates to shave, only does it when it starts to hurt my chin when I kiss him.

16.  He can fix anything.  ANYTHING.  He says his dad taught him.

17.  Our first kiss was really, really awkward.  He is a really good kisser now.  But no one gets to test and see if I am telling the truth.  Just trust me–I see stars.

18.  When we first met, he said he hated Chinese food.  Now it is his favorite.

19.  When he was a little boy he said he wanted seven children.  Now he just wants one….maybe two.

20.  He once bought a girl a five hundred dollar Barbie doll.   She broke his heart.  I am glad.

21.  He is constantly surrounded by a cloud of coax cables.

22.  He hangs every picture The Son has ever painted him in his office.

23.  He makes this horrible sound in the back of his throat when his allergies are bothering him.  His allergies are always bothering him.

24.   Right after we got married, I threw away every single pair of underwear he owned and bought him all new Old Navy boxers.  I overdrew our checking account in doing so, and he still said thank you.

25.   He is slightly afraid of spiders.  He thinks they are all black widows.

26.  He used to idolize Kurt Cobain–and credits Kurt’s death as what turned him around as a teenager.  So I guess, Thanks Kurt!  You might want to go check on your daughter now.

27.  He can build a mean block tower.  He started practicing really young.

28.  He is incredibly fiscally responsible.  Ask me about how our vacation to Jamaica got turned into Destin.

29.  He was a boyscout for forever, and missed being an eagle scout because of when his birthday fell.

30.  We disagree on how old The Son should be when he gets to watch Star Wars.  He had seen it by 5.  Guess who his favorite character was.

31.   He is 31 today.  Happy Birthday Darlin.

I love being a wife.  I love almost all my roles in this little life of mine, but wife is one of my favorites.  I like having a partner, and friend who is always there, a um, you know those husband and wifely type things person, a better half, a confidant.   I am really, really, REALLY missing him right now.   I miss reaching over and touching his shoulder while we are both just falling asleep.  I miss teasing him about his David Bowie hair before he takes his shower, I miss the way  he smiles, rolls his eyes, and says “Good Grief” at my punny jokes.  I REALLY miss the way he does half of the parenting-the good, the bad, and the ugly.

I could never be a military wife.  Yes, our soldiers should get every accolade, but their wives?  They are the ones holding all the important things together on their own.    One week, and I am a mess.

I am sorry that I did not get up a Father’s Day post, I have been living in a FREEZING hotel pool with a little fish who begs to go swimming every five minutes.   Apparently the scare at my first cousin once removed’s (I think?  My Dad’s first cousin?) pool did not scar him too badly.   (short version of that story–Son fell in a really cold pool.  Man jumped in and pulled him out. Son was scared, but not hurt.  He cried.  I cried.  I hugged wet man.  Man ruined cell and his cigs. Should not have been smoking anyway.)

I did spend Father’s Day with my dad, and Grandpa–and talked to The Husband and FFiL –I hope all of the other Daddies out there had a great day.

Tomorrow we are going to Hersey Park, and then Wednesday we are flying home.   Pennsylvania has been pretty nice,  I was disappointed not to see the Schrute Beet Farm.

My favorite part is H in the background wondering “What the heck is this “grown-up” doing?”

What grace. What form.  She gets a 9.7 in the sprinkler jumping Olympics.

H is all “Lordy here she comes again, I am MOVING!”

Last time.  Make it count, the Canadian judge is being harsh.

Awesome.

I did not bring my tripod and it was getting dark so there are very few shots of the animals.  The ones I do have are BLURRY.   Photos or not–the horses were gorgeous and the cowboys were the only ones getting injured.

Our sweet boy was concerned each time someone got bucked off, but cheered the loudest when the horses came through the gate.  That kid is a puzzle wrapped in an enigma .

He was so excited to go run with the kids after the calf during (what is it called?  Not half time, intermission?) but would not let me hand him over the fence to the nice man so he could be in the ring.  Have I mentioned two is kicking my butt? Here are other kiddos tormenting a calf by trying to get the ribbon off of its tail.  Everyone knows if you are going to torment a calf you should at least be able to eat some veal when you are finished.  (Kidding!….sorta.)

Tantrums or not, we all had a great time, and I imagine we will be right back here again next year.

Operation clean off my camera will continue tomorrow with baby pictures so cute they will melt your ovaries. If you do not have ovaries then, well…it is just a cute kid.

And even though we ain’t got money, I’m so in love with ya honey,
And everything will bring a chain of love.
And in the morning when I rise, you bring a tear of joy to my eyes,
And tell me everything is gonna be alright.

Seems as though a month ago I betcha  never got high,
Oh, I was a sorry guy.
And now a smile, a face, a man that shares my name,
Now I’m through with the game, this boy will never be the same.

Pisces, Virgo rising is a very good sign, strong and kind,
And the little boy is mine.
Now I see a family where there once was none, now we’ve just begun,
Yeah, we’re gonna fly to the sun.

Love the boy who holds the world in a paper cup, drink it up,
Love him and he’ll bring you luck.
And if you find he helps your mind, buddy, take him home,
Don’t you live alone, try to earn what lovers own.

And even though we ain’t got money, I’m so in love with ya honey,
And everything will bring a chain of love.
And in the morning when I rise, you bring a tear of joy to my eyes,
And tell me everything is gonna be alright.

Danny’s Song, A. Murray version

Have a happy (not commercialized, waste of money, invented by Hallmark) Valentine’s Day Sweet Husband.  I know there is a God because love like this is not of this earth.  I love you, and enjoy.

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