Overheard in the Huckablazer.
“Blah, blah, blah, blah, boring grown up stuff, blah, blah.”
“Mama! Daddy! Mama! Daddy! iisen to me!”
“Okay, we are listening Son, what’s up?”
Puts hand over his heart, “I pwedge agence flag under God, invisible Spagetthi-O’s. Amen.” Grins and applauds himself.
“Did he just say the pledge to invisible spagetthi-o’s?”
“Erm. Yeah, I think so.”
“I am not sure if I am proud our two year old knows the concept of pledging allegiance to something, or if I am concerned he is doing it to such a fascist like Chef Boyardee.”
“You think Chef Boyardee was a fascist?”
“Totally. I think he was Mussolini’s personal chef.”
“Huh. Why do you think the spaghetti-O’s were invisible?”
“I think he meant invincible.”
“Oh, well that totally makes sense. Even Tums can’t touch those things.”
Filed under Boy is my face red, NaBloPoMo, The Husband, The Son, stupidity | Comments (7)Just Hypothetically of course.
Hey Internet! I have a hypothetical question for you. If you had a hypothetical dog…..one that was a yorkie mix, was female, about nine months old, and had been going by the name Molly, what would you name her? I, hypothetically of course, think the name Molly is too close to Polly, we have some friends who have a human child named Molly and think that she, hypothetically, needs a new name to match a new family.
I kind of like names that are in the whole Katydid, Pollywog, Skeeter (an outside cat we had for a few months) genre. You know, naturish, yet that can be shortened to a cute nickname. So far I have thought of Ladybird, Cricket, Butterfly, Flutterby, Robin, Guppie, Doodlebug, Mayfly, Grasshopper (which is BIL’s nickname for The Son, BTW), Stinkbug, Birdie, Cherry, Tilly, Tiddlewink, PussyWillow, Magpie, Sparrow, Acorn, Starling, Chickadee, Turtledove, Minnow, Primrose, Buttercup, and Radar O’Reilly, hypothetically.
This would be a picture of the hypothetical dog.
After a much needed bath. The hypothetical haircut and vet check will be tomorrow.
Plagiarism: a play in one act.
The Husband: (reading a newspaper.) It looks like they are opening a new 24 hour seafood restaurant downtown. It is called Cod-all-Nighty.
Hey You: That sounds yummy, when does it open?
The Husband: Tonight, and to celebrate the fact that they serve fish from all over the world they are giving the first 100 customers a free atlas
Hey You: Awesome! That would be really cool to have once The Son starts school, by then books may be a thing of the past and kids depend solely on Google Maps for geography.
The Huckablogs head to the new seafood restaurant for an early dinner.
Hey You: Hi, table for three please, oh and are we in time for the free atlas?
Hostess: Sorry, they are all gone
The Husband: Oh well, can we go get steak instead?
Hostess: Wait, we do have one left.
Hey You: Awesome. Free Atlas, Free Atlas, Thank Cod-All-Nightie our free atlas!
Just in case you did not get it.
This was completely stolen from one of my favorite comic strips, you know how I feel about puns.
Filed under Boy is my face red, NaBloPoMo, stupidity | Comment (1)Mace and the Volkswagen
My parents used to have a mutt named Mace. She was mostly hound dog, (we are southern so you have to say Hawnd Dawg), and while she was mostly a good dog, she had the terrible habit of eating grass. They took her to the vet many times to see if she had worms, or what, but she was always fine…just weird. If they let her run free in their back yard, she would tear it up and eat my Mama’s flowers for brunch. So they started tying up Mace when she had to go outback, this so she would not destroy their carefully maintained landscaping. It worked, so well in fact that when JHJ (their free lawn mower) went away to college their back yard became sort of overgrown.
My dad has this bizarre hobby of rebuilding old Volkswagens, he buys them when they have been rotting in someone’s field with a pine tree in the passenger seat and daisies in the manifold. He then strips them and starts from scratch to make awesome, award winning vintage cars. He usually works in his garage, but every now and again he will have to do a particularly filthy job in their back yard so as not to contaminate the show cars.
After Mace had been being tied up, when outside, for a few months he was working on a Beetle in the backyard. He happened to drop one of his special german metric wrenches. Because it was so close to dark, and the grass was high, he looked and looked but could not find this stupid wrench! He gave up, threw the car cover over the Beetle and went inside, planning on looking for it again at daybreak.
That night when they put Mace out, for her before bed potty break, she managed to slip out of her collar. She was only out about twenty minutes, but in that time she had managed to chomp all the grass in the side yard where the Volkswagen was being worked on. My mom was pissed when she let Mace back in, knowing that the daylight would show her flower beds destroyed.
The next morning, my dad drank his coffee on the back porch. He looked over where his hobby car was and saw gleaming in the dewy grass his expensive German metric wrench. He was so pleased that he cried out. “A grazing Mace, How sweet the Hound, that saved a wrench for me!”
Just kidding, there was no grazing Mace, my dad always keeps his cars in the garage, and I am a huge goober who loves puns. Share your favorite punny joke with me!
Filed under NaBloPoMo, stupidity | Comment (1)Overheard in the Huckablazer.
a note: The Son was not in the vehicle at this particular time, just thought I should mention that before I get emails telling me you are calling CPS. Oh, and keep those Elvis stories coming, you have 24 more hours!
“Good Lord, what is this crap you are listening to?”
“What do you THINK it is?”
“It sounds like the background to an Eastern European porn.”
“How do you know what European porn sounds like? It is a Russian pop singer.”
“Where the hell did you find a Russian pop singer to listen to?”
“I was letting The Son watch trucks with jet fuel on YouTube, and we watched one on the streets of Moscow, and then YouTube recommended this video of a girl who has a song called Traffic, so I clicked on it. You know, the YouTube rabbit hole.”
“Turn it off, it is horrific!”
“No, listen to this song.” (turns it UP!)
“Did you BUY this CD?”
“No, I burned it.”
“You have illegal Russian music? The Russian mob and Interpol are going to come after us.”
“No, it is legal. ”
“So you paid for it from I Tunes or something?”
“No, it was free.”
“I wonder why.”
“Listen, this is my favorite song.”
“No! It is so bad that it makes me want to have you pull over so that I can rob that convenient store just so that I can go to prison to learn how to make a shiv so I can stab it in my ear to keep from hearing anymore of this!”
“You are such a drama queen.” (Turns off CD.)
Filed under Boy is my face red, The Husband, stupidity | Comments (5)Holy War
Thanks for today’s post goes to Cat, our resident youth minister.
Maybe it is photo shopped, maybe it was just a planned joke between the churches, either way, yay for a sense of humor! Unless they are serious, in which case, the Presbyterians are right, dogs do not go to heaven– but shame on them for starting a holy war. I am calling the UN.
Now I am off to pack for a weekend camping trip with four generations worth of campers. Oh, and Shoeshe for a night, she is an honorary member of the family so she counts (I am unsure of her camping skills however. I will report back and let you know.)
Filed under Friends-All three of them, Time Suckers, stupidity | Comment (1)Not Political, I swear.
I have written and deleted so many political posts recently. I am really hesitant to post much about this election because I am feeling so put off by many of MY favorite bloggers. It seems that if you don’t agree with the blogger, then you are stupid, or uneducated. I have been made to feel defensive and just plain pissed off at many blogs who I used to check everyday. It has gotten so bad, that I am getting ready to do some major editing on my blog roll.
This does not mean that I have no political opinion, and I probably will post something at some point, but that is not going to happen today. Instead we have a post about baby names–sure they are the baby names of a potential Vice President, but this is not about the person or her beliefs but her choice of monikers for her five kids. Track (named because of the whole family’s involvement in track and field sports), Bristol, (named for commercial fishing area, Bristol Bay), Willow (a community in Alaska), Piper, (because “It’s a cool name.”), and finally little Trig (a Norse name meaning strength.).
Presenting the Sarah Palin Baby Name generator. My name is Drill Swollen Palin, The Husband is Shank Piston Palin, and The Son is Rock Crane Palin. Post your Palin name in the comments section, The Drill commands you!
Filed under Boy is my face red, Time Suckers, stupidity | Comments (5)
