Silent Sunday: Leaves and My Kiddo
I don’t really need help being clumsy.
Friday morning I JUMPED out of bed because The Son shouted that he needed to peepee. I fell into the wall. Huh. That was weird. Hmm. The room seems to be spinning.
Here is how I KNOW my Lexapro is working–instead of thinking “I HAVE A BRAIN TUMOR!” or “CHOLERA!!!”, I thought, “I think I must have an ear infection.” I spent Friday putting in Pixar movie, after Dreamworks, after Elmo. I made sure he was fed, went potty, and took a nap…but I spent the rest of the time trying to keep the couch from flying out from under me.
It got worse instead of better so I braved the swine flu ridden waiting room of urgent care to get a diagnosis I already knew. Ear Infection! Perforated eardrums!
I have meds; while the spinning continues I expect it to end soon, I sure hope so anyway. A girl can only fall off the toilet so many times before she starts to get a complex.
Filed under NaBloPoMo, lexapro lexplains it | Comment (1)Worry
There are many things that surprised me about being a stay home mom. Things like how I miss the little punk when he is away from me even for a couple of hours. How there are times I feel like if I can’t just get out of my house right now I might go totally bonkers. How my house is actually messier than when I had a full time job. How I don’t make fun of the sweatpant lady anymore because I totally get it.
How I can have absolute trust that my husband can provide for us.
But.
There is a sense of control that you lose when you are completely dependent upon another person financially. I can worry all I want about his career but there is nothing I can do to help him succeed. This is not to say I have one of those husbands who is lazy, or who is complacent. It is just that when I was working I felt like I was in control of my destiny at every job I had. If I wanted a raise or a promotion, I worked hard and got one. If I wanted to do just the status quo and skate by unnoticed while I job hunted or read blogs all day then I did.
Now I have to just sit back and let those things happen–or not.
Where is this coming from today? Something like a third of my husband’s co-workers have been laid-off in the last two days, and his boss is no longer his boss. My Husband still has his job–and it seems like if he were going to be let go, it would have happened today. It is just as he whispered to me last night….sometimes our life seems too good to be true. This career of his that lets us pay our bills, allows me to raise our son full time, even allows for the occasional luxury–it is what people dream of.
But what if?
The Husband is brilliant and has a great work ethic, and is both well educated and has a fair amount of experience. I am confidant that if he did lose his job–he could get another one–we would be okay. I just can’t help but worry. Would we go broke in the interim? Would I have to go find a job right away? What would we do with The Son if I went to work? What kind of job would I even look for?
I just read that a couple with children should have an entire YEAR’s worth of expenses in savings for job loss, or emergency. Um, a YEAR? If we had a year’s worth of expenses in savings we could–and probably would-pay off our MORTGAGE.
Do people really have that much set aside? Should I go get a job just so we can have that in savings? We think no. We are going to trust that we will be taken care of, and that our faith and hard work will pull us through any rainy days ahead.
But I still worry.
post edit: I went back and re-read this post and realized what is missing. I am a Christian. Yes, my husband is our provider–but not really. I do try to pray about this–all the time! But I still worry. Why?
Filed under NaBloPoMo, The Husband, faith, lexapro lexplains it | Comments (7)but no cleaning.
Today I:
Tried to get short short three year old hair to lay flat.
Chopped up apples and put pretzel sticks in cheese squares for a preschool Thanksgiving feast.
Welcomed The Son’s ridiculously large entourage for his preschool program.
Watched aforementioned horribly politically incorrect, and yet somehow still adorable Thanksgiving program.
Worried about what it means that two of my husband’s other state counterparts got fired.
Took some migrane medicine.
Took a little nap with my not really baby.
Had a debate on the appropriateness of leggings.
Only had to look at my ritual book twice during an OES initiation.
Learned why the SWAT team was down the street from my house tonight.
Watched the alligator Dirty Jobs on itunes with my boys.
Wrote a crappy NaBloPoMo post
Stayed up until midnight just so I could be the first one to wish Shoeshe happy birthday.
Filed under NaBloPoMo | Comments (4)Cutastrophe ‘aught nine.
Alternate title: In which I overreact on a huge scale.
He inherited a head full of crazy cowlicks from The Husband’s side of the family, and a thick head full of independent and stubborn hair from mine. Buzz cuts are just not my style, and short, short little boy hair is cute on other little boys….but, I like MY kiddo to have as long of hair as my hubby will allow. If it were just up to me he would be sporting a shaggy skater do.
This kid just needed a teeny, teeny, itsy bit taken off of his bangs. Our usual and most wonderful stylist K had a baby one week exactly before this one. I reasoned that there was no need to drive 25 minutes and bother K just for a teeny little bang trim. Surely anybody who is a licensed stylist could handle that, right?
Wrong. I told her to just trim them to his eyebrows. First snip of the scissors saw three inches of hair on the cape. I literally gasped. Calm down, calm down. It is just a little short. Snip. Snip. Snip. Fourth cut. ACK! FOUR INCHES right off the front. “Your kid is moving! He needs to mind me and hold still.” “I am standing right here! He is holding perfectly still.” “Well, he is making me nervous.” “You are making ME nervous.”
I picked him up, removed his cape, and walked out, not paying, four cuts into the worst hair massacre ever. WAY worse than this. You think I am exaggerating?
And it looked even crazier in real life.
I called K in tears. I felt like I was confessing to cheating on her. She graciously invited us to her home, let me cuddle her babies, and calmed me down.
She is awesome–but she is not God, and cannot magically grow hair, so the end result is still A LOT shorter than this pseudohippy would like, but it is much better.
Lesson learned: if you love who cuts your hair–NEVER EVER go somewhere else, even for a teeny trim. Oh, and also? K said she would have cried too.
Filed under Boy is my face red, Friends-All three of them, NaBloPoMo, Parenting for Dummies, The Son, lexapro lexplains it, stupidity | Comments (6)More as story develops.
Oh sweet Jesus, here is the before. Yeah, he needed a haircut. I get it.
Baby in leaves.
I have been finishing pictures today instead of huckablogging. That means you get to see some cute portraits I took last week.
Um, in related news….I am in the process of getting up a photography website so people can you know, like–pay me for this. I am so nervous! I never want it to not be fun, and I am still most definitely a stay at home, but this is okay to do on the side, right? Right? Hello? Anybody out there?
