Alma miss you too.

Shoeshe’s birthday was Thursday and that seemed a good excuse to go visit our old home town, just in time for Alma Mater’s last home game of the season.   We were not really going to see football but rather to see Shoeshe and eat at some of our favorite old haunts.  The Husband used to work at a hotel in *Alma Mater, so he dropped the owner’s name when we were making reservations and got us a huge discount…big enough that we stayed two nights instead of one.   When we got to town on Friday night we checked in, fed Ellie-Mae and met Shoeshe at the best Italian restaurant ever.  We told our server it was her birthday and she got free cake, which she gave to The Son, because she hates us and thought it was fun to watch his head spin around backwards.

Ang and JHJ both used to work at the best restaurant ever, and the menu had not changed a bit.  When the waitress brought my 24 with extra mushrooms (penne and chicken in cream sauce), I remembered why Ang and I would always share an order.   Ang would pick it up, between her lunch and dinner shift as hostess, and bring it to me while I worked at the senator’s office.  I would close the door, and we would sit at my desk, eat and watch Rosie O’Donnell on the TV that was supposed to stay tuned to CSPAN.  That was just the beginning of a weekend full of memories.  Some were bad, but they were overwhelmingly good.

The next morning we perused the awesome new mall they have built at Alma Mater, and The Son beamed a little girl in the mall kiddie corral.  In his defense, the child was sitting at the bottom of the slide as he was coming down it.  We left and took him to a real playground instead, and I swear, it was the BEST playground I have EVER seen, and that is saying something because I do consider myself a bit of a playground connoisseur.   It is located at a nearby lake, the lake where we had church cookouts, and Ang and I walked miles upon miles so I would fit in my wedding dress.  It was really cold, but that did not slow us down any.

The Son fit in the tire swing much better than the adults.  Like his new hat?  Target special in Alma Mater colors.

This is one of those barrel rolling things.  The Son had it easy.

Although The Husband also did really well.

Shoeshe pretty much sucked.  So did I, and there is a picture of me on this thing as well, but it is my blog so I get choose which pictures to publish.  Awesome.

This may look like a normal slide but it is made of of lots of tiny little rollers.  I was worried about his fingers getting caught, but he was fine.

The Husband thought he would be fine too….but it was not made for more ample adult-sized bottoms.  He tried it on his stomach the next go around and now we can not have any more children.

We had so much fun playing that we were late for the game!  When we got there they were already doing…um something.  I have no idea.  But doesn’t the field look pretty?

There was a lot of um hugging?  And running.  And throwing.  I just cheered when people around me cheered and started to boo when they booed, but The Husband said that was teaching The Son bad sportsmanship, so instead when other people booed we just yelled, “Awe that’s a shame.  Better luck next time!”  Shoeshe pretended she did not know us.

We really enjoyed the band! They were entertaining.  They could play and dance at the same time.  Ohhhh.  Ahhhh.

We left after the half time show.  It was just way too cold, especially since The Son flat out refused to wear his mittens and I had already flashed our whole section when he threw a temper tantrum demanding to Nur-Nur during the second quarter.  Whoever thought it was a good idea to plan a game at nap time obviously did not have a toddler.  The score was tied when we left, but I hear Alma Mater won, so YAY! I guess.  Whatever.  They still have a great debate team.

The Son fell asleep in the Huckablazer before we were even off campus so Shoeshe gave us a tour down memory lane.   Campus is completely unrecognizable from just six years ago.  My dorm is now Co-ed!  The student union is so massive it takes up the whole center of campus.  The college owned apartments, that were considered the height of cool with their T1 lines, are now obsolete because they are the only part of campus that is not wireless.   Trees are gone and a parking garage is in their spot.  The Wesley foundation where Cat and I spent so many hours looks so much better, and has bought out the Church of Christ next door.  The new science building has a lovely greenhouse on the top, and the road I used to speed down to get to work on time is now just for bikes and pedestrians. Get Cat to tell you about the time she got run over by a bike on that road.

Since The Son was snoozing away, we drove by every apartment either of us lived in.  The first one, still across from a mosque is now owned by HUD, that should tell you something.  It was never a nice apartment complex, when I first moved in just for the summer while the dorms were closed, I was so scared to live there by myself that I begged HYR to live there with me.  She complied, and we toughed it out together.  The next apartment we lived in was bought out by my old church and they tore it down to put up a parking lot.  It was a change for the better.  My first apartment I ever lived in alone** was so small that I could not open the front door without hitting the coffee table, and yet I still crammed in a full-sized Christmas tree.  It looked  exactly the same, as did the huge old house turned duplex The Husband and I first lived in as newlyweds.  That is where he carried me over the threshold and hit my head on the door frame.  Oh the memories.  We drove by his old apartment too, the one he shared with BIL and had so much dust that the first (only) time I cleaned it for them I found thirty-seven dollars in change under the dust on their entertainment center.   It looked the same as well, although that part of town seems to really be going downhill.

We went back to the hotel to finish naps, check on the dog and to lose some of the layers we had on, and then met Shoeshe for sushi and hibachi.  The Son thought a Boston roll was a cupcake and got mad when it tasted like kelp instead of icing.  We told our server it was her birthday and she got free cake, which she gave to The Son.  Because she hates us and thought it was fun to watch his head spin around backwards.  Hey Deja Vu!

We finished the night in the indoor pool at the hotel doing something The Son has been begging to do since August.

The next morning we made it just in time for the contemporary service at the church I went to the whole time I lived there, and only saw one person I knew. We finished the trip up  with lunch at the same place The Husband and I had our third date.  I asked him if he remembered that date and he told me he did because he really liked the v-necked sweater I wore.

When we pulled out of the parking lot after giving Shoeshe final kisses, The Son cried saying, “Shoeshe, Shoeshe, you come back, I want you back!” and it was not just because she gives him presents.

We will be back soon.  Alma Mater has a basketball team right?

*Alma Mater is code for the town the actual university is located in.

**I used the term alone very loosely because The Husband and I were newly engaged and were pretty much inseparable.

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Psst. The girl is Shoeshe. Don’t tell anyone, its a secret.

You know, I might think twice about posting these next couple of anecdotes, if it were not for the fact that just yesterday Shoeshe posted about how funny it was when her mother’s hair caught fire…so obviously a little embarrassment will not matter, right?

When I was in college there was this girl in several of my political science classes. I am not quiet sure why she was in those classes, because I think she was an accounting major at the time. I could be wrong about that as her major changed every semester. Anyway, this girl and I were friends and were both in a class that was also a club called Model UN (MUN).

There were only two three kinds of people in Model UN. There were frat guys or their female counterparts who were in MUN just because they thought it would be an easy A, and would look good on their law school applications. They often came to competitions so hung over that they could not hold their heads up after binge drinking in the hotel room the night before.

There were also the uber MUN geeks who really honestly thought the resolutions they wrote and debated over would have something to do with achieving world peace. They would go on zero sleep for the entire four day competitions and break down in tears on the last day when the delegate from China was being an ass in the made up security council. This usually wound up in some sort of model nuclear warfare.

Then there was this girl and me. I was in MUN because I liked the subject. I thought it was fun, liked to debate, but felt too conservative for debate club. I enjoyed world politics, but given the choice between CSPAN and The Simpsons…The Simpsons would always win. I would drink a wine cooler or two, but have never been interested in the drink until you black out scene, and was far from a sorority girl, so I did not really fit in with either of the groups I mentioned.

I am pretty sure this girl came to MUN for the easy grade. Either that or she was stalking me. She was really quite good, but would always crack a joke or come up with some outlandish story if the debate became intense. What she excelled at was writing articles for the imaginary newspaper to cover the made up events at these MUN conventions. Good Lord, that sounds so nerdy I have to stop and go kiss my husband for ever talking to me in the first place. Okay I am back. So this girl would fall off the bed if she had half a Zima and she would be out for the remainder of the night. Her laid back attitude made the uber geeks not like her…but I did.

I would debate my little heart out for an hour or so, and then announce to the room I had to go caucus with some dignitaries.  Then I would sneak out to meet the girl and we would go shopping. These MUN conferences were always held in huge cities, and so the shopping was always great. Sometimes I would say I had to go to my room to rewrite a resolution, and would hail a cab and go to an art museum with the girl instead. She was supposed to be roaming around looking for stories so no one bothered to wonder where she went. The thing is even though we usually wound up blowing off half the competition, we always came home with awards because we were good! I could make a senior law student cry with my stories about the refugees I ALWAYS pulled out in my debates to get my way. She could write a story that actually made all of this drivel seem interesting, and do it in half an hour. Some of my favorite memories of college include these Model UN conferences and this girl. So since it is her birthday, I think I will share a couple.

We always drove to St. Louis for an important conference that would last four days in a huge eighteen passenger van emblazoned with our mildly racist school mascot. She always way, way over packed and this trip was no exception. While we were still in the school parking lot, our favorite professor, also the MUN coach, made her lose a suitcase because there wasn’t enough room. I helped her in the freezing predawn try to jam three weeks worth of lingerie and socks into another of her bags so she could leave one behind. The suitcase was put on top of the heap in the van and we were on our way. When we arrived in St. Louis, all the students piled out, and came around back of the van to help the professor unload the luggage. The big double doors opened and the girl’s bag was the first one out. As our professor pulled on the handle of the bulging bag, the zipper broke and a shower of her bras, panties, and socks rained down on top of our sixtyish male professor. There, in front of a very elegant hotel, on a very busy street, with not only students from our school, but from many other schools as well, she had to assist in dislodging her bra from his tweed jacket. His face, and hers, were as fuschia as the pair of panties resting on his wingtips. I laughed. She learned how to pack lighter.

Same conference, same hotel, different year. I was not in charge of room assignments, and she and I were put in separate hotel rooms with other roomates. I had to share a room with a chain smoking, anorexic, often drunk yankee, and her room assignment was with a forty year old college freshman who only bathed in patchouli and had a tattoo of rope and feathers around her waist which she liked to show us. We tried to talk them into rooming with each other but they each thought the other was a freak. They were both right. So the girl was reeking of the patchouli fumes of her roommate, and running late (as usual). She was just jumping in the shower as patchouli lady was leaving, so when she finished her shower, she wrapped her towel around her hair and pranced out to get in her suit appropriate for today. The hippie had kindly opened the curtains to let in the light of the conference which their room over looked. Some MUN nerdy freshman stopped and looked up at her window for what was surely their first look at breasts, and waved. My friend? Waved back before she realized that she was naked and putting on a show more suitable for New Orleans than St. Louis. Once realizing what she was doing, she dropped to the floor and crawled to find a robe so she could draw the curtains. We did not see much of her that conference, I think she may have been a little embarrassed or something.

Happy Birthday to the girl whom I have enough stories about to keep this blog going for years.

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One is Silver and the Other Gold.

Did you know aside from family members, the longest relationship I have had with someone is ten years? That would be Cat. My relationship with ShoeShe has been nine years, and Ang eight. The Husband has been seven. We moved several times as I was growing up, so I have no “childhood friends”. In some ways this was good because it made me good at making new pals, and I was really not shy around strangers, but it would be nice to have that history with someone to which I was not related. I do not know what it is about Cat, or Shoeshe, or Ang, that has caused us to stay in touch; to defy those odds.

Cat and I met when we were college freshmen and I loved her from the moment she started telling me stories about her mom. Cat quickly outgrew me. While I was busy being a stupid college kid, she was being a grown-up, but we were still friends. She moved away, and it would have been really easy to lose touch…but we didn’t. She moved, I moved, She moved, I moved, She moved, she moved, she moved, and still we are friends. The best part, even if we have not seen each other for months, it seems like it has just been hours. I love her, and her husband, and fully expect us to still be friends in thirty years.

I could not bear Shoeshe when I first met her, she was a loathsome sorority girl. She lived across the hall in our dorm; I tried to avoid her, and she kept going out of her way to annoy me. She just kept popping up. The last straw was when she popped up in my favorite class, Model U.N. (that is too a class, yes it is, I got credit for it as an undergrad AND a graduate student.) We bonded over resolutions for getting Greece out of Djibouti. It turns out that we had a lot in common and she really was not a very good sorority girl. I love her too and my son ADORES her. He has said every day this week, “foo ball with Sueshe today Mama?” I made the mistake of telling him we were going to visit her and see a game in the next couple of weeks.

Ang was introduced to me by Hey You Richardson, Ang grew up in the town near her and they had the same major. I met Ang a few times, thought she was really smart, and enjoyed her company, but we did not become close until we shared an apartment one summer. That was enough. Ang is one of the most brilliant people I have ever met, and yet was always up for doing something silly or fun. Did I mention that she introduced me to the love of my life? Yeah, she did. I could never, ever say thank you enough for that introduction. To be honest when she moved REALLY far away, I kind of thought that we might just end up being Christmas card friends, but we have kept in touch electronically pretty darn well, and I still count her as one of my best friends, even if I do wish she would be done with Nebraska already.

So why am I telling you all of this? Well, I am currently a little lonely for girlfriends. All three of those people? Live three, six, or God knows how many hours away. I do have some pals, but they all work, and have their own small children and understandably, want to spend time with their own families, as do I. I have been on a quest the last few months to really bond with other women. I need to spend time with people who have the same values, concerns, and interests as me. I am a social butterfly and thrive on interaction with people, and my poor husband can only hear me talk about what happened at play group, or how I should cut my hair so much.

I have joined MOPS, BSF, a SAHM playgroup, OES, LLL, have a great Sunday school class, and have cool neighbors. We have friends with little kids, whom we see once a month for our dinner club. We go to Gym class and Story time, with other SAHM’s, and between all of them smooshed together I have plenty of outlets for the whirl of thoughts that happen in my head. Of course you, darling internet, what would I do without my readers mom reading? Slowly, but surely, I am making more friends. But they are silver–and you, and you, and you–the three of you are gold. Thank you.

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Arbor Day(ish)

I have no idea when Arbor Day is.  I am starting to think different towns celebrate it on different days.  Our town had a little celebration at our favorite park on Saturday.  It had all the makings of a great morning.  It was free.  There were balloons.  There were bounce houses. There were tree adoptions, but best of all there was an impromptu play date.

These balloons are tied on to the tree I got for FREE just because the kids were playing long after everyone else left.  This was the left over.  I took it because it was FREE, but had no idea what I was going to do with it.   Something possessed me to offer it to Nanny, The Husband’s maternal grandmother.  Nanny lost her husband in December and when I offered the tree her eyes welled up with tears and she said, ” I am going to plant it on James’ grave.”  I am so glad it has found a good home.

The Son loves bounce houses.  He will spend hours on one, jumping, jumping, jumping.  I am fine with this because a bounce house always insures a good nap.

This is R.  She is the daughter of one of my LLL friends J.  I run into J and her kids all the time; I think it is because we have the same ideas on how to spend our time.  Free is good.  Trees are good.  Hey You and J will both be there.

J has gorgeous children.  Tonight, at LLL, J told me that R has “sassatude.”  Maybe, but she sure is a cool kid to be around.

It could be because she has such a cool mom.  J will be having gorgeous child number three any time now.

It was a nice morning.

The boys shed their shirts and played on a huge old tree stump, they had more fun there than on the bounce house.

It does look pretty cool.

It was full of compost because the stump had started to decay.

This is J’s second born G.  This was his second birthday.  J and I started at LLL at the same time when these boys were 4 and 2 months old.  Sigh.

They are growing up too fast!  But isn’t this child just spectacular?   He is sweet too.

I hope you enjoy pictures because this whole expecting words from me everyday is darn hard!  Sometimes I just have nothing to say.  I know, I didn’t believe it either.

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These people used to be my friends….hopefully they still will be after this post.

Here are some of my favorite costumes of our friends at our Halloween parties through the years.  The faces are blurred of the people who do not comment here with some regularity…or that we are related to, I do not think they will sue me for posting without permission (fingers crossed).

This adorable couple are The Neighbors.  They are some sort of soccer somethings.  They are sporty people.  We are not.  Also? They are the only people who are on time whenever we have parties,  could be the thirty foot commute.   I think she was recovering from surgery in this picture, and she still looks darling.

Here is JHJ. The title of his costume is Recipe for disaster. The bottles he is holding say Nitro and Glycerin. I think.   He does not look this crazy all the time.  Most, but not all.

Here is our sweet Shoeshe as an obese golfer.  I have no clue who the goober in the background is.

Here is BIL under that scary mask.  I think he was supposed to be a Scottish ghoul or something.  Nice tin foil.  He is accompanied by Little Red Riding hood.  With…something? in her basket.

This is Karebear, she is a fairy princess type thing.

This is one of my favorites, this is CAT and Tark, as a bowler and her bowling ball. The ball? Tark’s head.  Sorry about the picture CAT, but it was the only one that wasn’t blurry.

Some great non-commenting friends of ours as Zombies.  Hey, why do you not comment? I know you read.

Here is Hugh Hefner and his bunny.

Sorry about this picture Karebear, but you are hilarious as a devil with your “bitch” fork.

Here we have an escaped convict, and a pregnant hooker (holding, but not drinking) beer.

Here is a Hogworts student, Gryfyndor I think.

Hey look, here are some of her classmates.  We had a whole group of witches and wizards that year.

Here are some cute pirates.

This is CAT’s bridesmaid dress from my wedding,  this guest came to the party as a drunken CAT on 5/24/03. Note the wine glass.

Here is Shoeshe as a basket of dirty laundry.

A veeerrrry intoxicated Gwenivere and Lancelot.

OMIGOSH. This is my all time favorite.  This is a looter from Katrina.  That card in his headband? A FEMA card.

JHJ and 7daytrial as some awesome pirates.

BIL as an old man, The Son saw this picture as I was resizing it, and said “Grandpapa?”  This does not look like his Grandpapa, but whatever.

Next up? The Son.

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Introducing the Tarksandsons.

It has been a great ten years guys. Come on home just anytime, we do have a few Methodist churches here you know.

Introducing Tark (oldish ((jk)) ), Cat (29!), MG(8), and Westers (3) Tarkandsons.

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Not a post on their own, but if you smoosh them all together? YES!…The sequel

-We found a black widow and her egg nest underneath the seat of The Son’s pedal car today. Needless to say, I spent a good hour tonight googling pictures of black widow bites and their symptoms. Since he is seizure free and no limbs have fallen off, I think we are in the clear.

-Remember that tick I found on my breast? (Breast sounds so clinical, but I really don’t like boob, we usually call them Nur-Nurs around these parts.) I found ANOTHER ONE. I am pretty sure this means either a. My breasts spend to much time outside or b….. actually there is no b, a is the right answer. I have breastfed more than my fair share in the great-outdoors. I think only women who live in mud huts and wear sarongs everyday have me beat at this point.

-Every time I tell The Son that big boys drink from cups, not Nur-Nurs, he grabs my hand and says “Nap-nap, Mama. I sleepy.” Can you tell nap time is one of the three times a day he still gets to nurse?

-We went camping about ten minutes away from our house this weekend. We came home and watched The Incredibles, took Benadryl and had naps yesterday morning, and then resumed our regularly scheduled camping experience. Shoeshe went with us on Friday night, and you know what she negated to tell me before she said she wanted to come? She has NEVER BEEN CAMPING!! (that gets one more exclamation point because we live in a gorgeous state, perfect for doing outside stuff)! She also did not bring a sleeping bag. When I tried to give her one of ours she refused….she slept on the cold, hard ground with a wee little mat and a blanket. I am assuming she will run screaming the next time someone offers to take her camping.

-We sing songs around campfires. I know, I know that sounds corny….and it probably is, but I do not care, I love it. Friday night Shoeshe had her guitar and played, and The Son and my Grandpa sang Twinkle Twinkle Little Star together, and then my Grandpa sang You are My Sunshine to my Grandma. I hope I never, ever forget those moments. (Remind me to tell you sometime about when my other grandparents renewed their vows on their fiftieth anniversary.) Last night we were roasting marshmallows (smarmallohs to The Son), my mom started singing and The Son said, “No Grammy, onwe ((only)) Swoesee ((Shoeshe)) sing. I want Swoesee.” Aww. He loves her. (could be all the presents)

-Shoeshe left some guitar thingy and a book at the campsite. Whenever she comes to visit, The Husband and I play this little game called, “What will Shoshe leave us this time?” She just got back her camera and a bag of jewelry from the last visit. I am hoping next time she leaves that sweet (insert our Alma mater here) sweatshirt she was wearing.

-The Son has had a black eye this week (it came from an overly enthusiastic hug from a stick wielding, almost two year old buddy). Today before we put him in the tub to wash away the woodsmoke/bug spray/marshmallow odors and the playground dirt held on with pancake syrup and layered over dried leaf bits held on by more marshmallows he looked ready to pose for a neglected child poster. He even had on a droopy pull up and one sock. I did not take a picture, and it was only cute because he has never looked like that before.

-An extremely heavily edited version of this was published here. They left out the parts about The Husband, and I hate that because he should get every accolade possible heaped upon him for his superb daddy skills. It is still super cool to have something I wrote published in a real live magazine. They sent me several copies, so if anyone wants one, let me know and I will mail it to ya…..it is a real magazine, but they don’t exactly sell it at Wal-mart.

-We are going away (I know, are we EVER at home anymore?) at the end of this week with the elder (edited: but not old) Huckablogs, so this and maybe only one or two more posts will be all you get this week. How about you do this to keep yourself occupied, and email the results (heyyou at thehuckablog dot com) for a future post.

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