Politics and Religion
Right? Aren’t those the topics you are never supposed to discuss? I try not to say too much about politics–you know how I feel, and nothing either of us says is going to change the others mind so let’s just drop it, shall we? Religion is different. I would never want to be accused of hiding my light under a bushel. I am not ashamed to be Christian. You know that too. What I don’t talk about ever is anything that is considered less than hunky-dory with my church. I don’t ever want to discourage someone who has not found a church family to be afraid to try because of something I say.
But. The thing about churches are that they are made up of people. Not saints. Not perfectly versed and always compassionate masses, just individuals who are human and make human mistakes. If I, and other people, try to pretend that everything is great all the time then it just gives ammunition to those who call us hypocrites. Call me bossy, and nosy, and lazy–but you can’t say I am hypocritical. I am a Christian and not a perfect one.
The truth is that I am writing this mad. Mad and upset and hurt and confused and embarrassed. I should never write mad, upset, hurt, confused, or embarrassed, much less all of them smooshed together–but this blog is my therapy remember?
I went to highschool with this kid named Chad (not really Chad, but close enough) he was my friend and we both went to the same small church, it is still my small church. Both of us had been members there as long as we could remember. It was his home church, his family church. I went away to college and Chad stayed at a local school. He met this girl, a lovely girl, Corey, who was a little older–and funny, and sweet, and totally dingy, but it was part of her charm. They fell in love and got married in our church. They joined as a couple, and life was hunky dory. But it wasn’t really. Something stupid happened that hurt feelings and left Corey feeling mad and upset and hurt and confused and embarrassed. Instead of working it out and forgiving and moving on with this church they were so committed to–they quit. Just up and quit the church! Not just the church, but the whole denomination! Chad made it very clear to me that his wife felt very strongly about it, and that he was going to go where she went.
I ran into Corey at a mutual friends house right after they quit. Never known for my tact, I straight up asked her why, why and how, she could do such a thing. She explained that she felt like the church was not giving her anything anymore, that she was not getting what she wanted. I told her that we only get what we put in, that if she was unhappy she needed to work to change it. She said it was not worth it when there was a whole other better for her church right down the road. I countered that she had made a commitment in joining our church–and was she just going to quit on her marriage when it got hard and there was another guy just as good down the street? She got mad. I wonder why? I seem to have that effect on people when I don’t keep my mouth shut.
That has been over five years ago, and I STILL feel hurt that they would just quit.
There is another storm brewing at our church–no not really, I think it is no longer brewing and has been pounding us hard for some months. I have not said anything here because I want you to know that I love being a part of a community of faith, that I feel most at home in my pew on Sunday mornings or helping on Wednesday night.
Yet, I am still mad and upset and hurt and confused and embarrassed. I am unsure what to do. I feel like I have prayed for months and still do not know the right thing to do. I saw something wrong and tried to follow my own advice–see something you don’t like? Don’t just sit there, do something about it! Say something about it! Well I am sick of it. I want to take the easy way out. I want to take my little family and just walk away and move on to another church family because I am tired of fighting for what I think is right. There are other churches in this town, even other good ones, other good Methodist ones!
Except I won’t leave. Those other good churches have problems too, because they are made up of humans just like mine. I won’t leave because I feel like I can turn the other cheek still. I can lay down my anger, and hurt, and embarrassment and take up another cause at my church. I think I can anyway. I want to. I pray that I can move on, that I can remember that my church is a lot more than ugly chairs, misspelled signs, sun shades that dim the brilliance of a stained glass window, unfinished playgrounds, politics and one bloated egomaniac. My church is my home, my family, my spot to connect with my Lord.
No, I won’t take the easy way out. Now, if you will excuse me, I have a sheep costume to make for a certain little church’s Christmas pageant.
Filed under faith, lexapro lexplains it | Comments (3)Count your blessings. Name them one by one.
I am thankful for my husband. I am thankful for his love, for his friendship, for his patience, for his hard work. I am thankful that I get to be married to him for the rest of my life. I am thankful that he is the father of my child, and that I get to hold him and laugh with him everyday.
I am thankful for my son. I am thankful I get to spend everyday watching him grow, and learn, and bring joy to all who know him. I am thankful I get to be this specific person’s mama. I am thankful for his energy, and his inquisitiveness. I am thankful for his kisses, and for his ability to make me proud–always.
I am thankful for my parents. I am thankful they are my parents, and that they raised me up in the way I should go. I am thankful they still play such a huge role in my life and that they will always love me-no matter what. I am thankful my son has them for grandparents.
I am thankful for my in-laws. I am thankful that they love me for me, not just because I married their son. I am thankful I love them for them, not just because I married their son. I am thankful they raised my husband to be the man he is today. I am also thankful I do not have to travel more than an hour to see them, or let them spend time with their grandson–because they are really good grandparents.
I am thankful for JHJ. I am thankful he is near this year so I have someone to roll my eyes at. I am thankful he pushes my boundaries, and that he never lets me win. I am thankful I got to grow up with him, and that we will always have each other.
I am thankful for BiL. I am thankful he is my friend and in-law, that he makes me laugh, and that he is present. I am thankful for the love he shows my family, and that we see him more weeks than not. I am also thankful he is now a kickass Japanese chef.
I am thankful for my grandparents. I am thankful I am getting to know them as more than just occasional visitors. I am thankful my son has Great-grandparents that he gets to see so often. I am thankful for the legacy of love and faithfulness they have given my family.
I am thankful for my Ma. I am thankful for her love, for her devotion to her family, for her example of care she shows to Gabs. Next year I hope to say I am thankful she lives down the street from me.
I am thankful for Nanny, my husband’s last living grandparent. I am thankful for her vitality, and energy, and example of hard work. I am thankful my husband and son have her blood in their veins.
I am thankful for Shoeshe. I am thankful for her friendship, and even more so that she is my son’s godmother. I am thankful for all the nights I have laughed until I cried sitting next to her. I am thankful that she keeps me from taking everything so seriously.
I am thankful for Cat. I am thankful that she remains my friend even though move after move and crazy schedules keep us apart. I am thankful for not only the amazing history we have, but the future as well.
I am thankful for Ang. I am thankful that neither of us wrote off a friendship just because we see each other maybe once a year. I am thankful for the internet which lets us still be a part of each others lives.
I am thankful for my mommy friends-specifically MOPS. I am thankful that I am not alone in this adventure, and that I always have someone to share war stories with at the playground. I am thankful they understand what it is like to have your life rotate around a child–and yet somehow not have it always be about him.
I am thankful for my home. I am thankful it is warm, and comfortable, and a place we all love to be. I am thankful for its location, near family, our church, and surrounded by great neighbors (who probably would get their own picture if they would ever let me take it. )
I am thankful I get to live in the most beautiful state in the country. I am thankful that I can always find vistas and nature that let me see the wonder of God.
I am thankful for my country. I am thankful for the men and women who worked and fought to make it ours, and keep it safe. I am thankful I am free to live my life, and say what I want–even publish it. I am thankful I have the chance to live this American dream.
And finally–and yet most importantly–I am thankful for my God. I am thankful for all of the blessings He has given me, us, and that I could never count them all. I am thankful for His love, and grace. I am thankful for His son. I am thankful he has given me a thankful heart.
Happy Thanksgiving. Take time tonight to count your blessings and see what God has done.
Filed under Family-blame the DNA, Friends-All three of them, NaBloPoMo, Photography, faith | Comments (2)Worry
There are many things that surprised me about being a stay home mom. Things like how I miss the little punk when he is away from me even for a couple of hours. How there are times I feel like if I can’t just get out of my house right now I might go totally bonkers. How my house is actually messier than when I had a full time job. How I don’t make fun of the sweatpant lady anymore because I totally get it.
How I can have absolute trust that my husband can provide for us.
But.
There is a sense of control that you lose when you are completely dependent upon another person financially. I can worry all I want about his career but there is nothing I can do to help him succeed. This is not to say I have one of those husbands who is lazy, or who is complacent. It is just that when I was working I felt like I was in control of my destiny at every job I had. If I wanted a raise or a promotion, I worked hard and got one. If I wanted to do just the status quo and skate by unnoticed while I job hunted or read blogs all day then I did.
Now I have to just sit back and let those things happen–or not.
Where is this coming from today? Something like a third of my husband’s co-workers have been laid-off in the last two days, and his boss is no longer his boss. My Husband still has his job–and it seems like if he were going to be let go, it would have happened today. It is just as he whispered to me last night….sometimes our life seems too good to be true. This career of his that lets us pay our bills, allows me to raise our son full time, even allows for the occasional luxury–it is what people dream of.
But what if?
The Husband is brilliant and has a great work ethic, and is both well educated and has a fair amount of experience. I am confidant that if he did lose his job–he could get another one–we would be okay. I just can’t help but worry. Would we go broke in the interim? Would I have to go find a job right away? What would we do with The Son if I went to work? What kind of job would I even look for?
I just read that a couple with children should have an entire YEAR’s worth of expenses in savings for job loss, or emergency. Um, a YEAR? If we had a year’s worth of expenses in savings we could–and probably would-pay off our MORTGAGE.
Do people really have that much set aside? Should I go get a job just so we can have that in savings? We think no. We are going to trust that we will be taken care of, and that our faith and hard work will pull us through any rainy days ahead.
But I still worry.
post edit: I went back and re-read this post and realized what is missing. I am a Christian. Yes, my husband is our provider–but not really. I do try to pray about this–all the time! But I still worry. Why?
Filed under NaBloPoMo, The Husband, faith, lexapro lexplains it | Comments (7)After Party Jam Session
Um. Guys? Is anyone still out there? It’s me. I know, I know, where the heck have I been?
When I started The Huckablog 20 months ago I was bored. And lonely. And needed a creative outlet. I loved blogging. The thing is that I still love blogging. But I am involved in other things now, and I am not lonely, and am certainly not bored. This is my official excuse for why if my blog was my baby I would have had CPS called on me by now. NEGLECT!
I am going to try and catch up with all of the life that has been happening all around me this week, so stay tuned.
In the mean time–I SWEAR these are the last of the birthday pictures. The party was over. Almost all of the guests were gone and The Son was playing with his new toys. Remember back here when I told you about his guitar obsession? Grammy and Grandpa bought him a guitar. One that has to be tuned and stuff. Uncle JHJ bought him a harmonica. ShoeShe, who was taking advantage of our super comfy couch as a bed that night, pulled out her guitar and there was a jam session in our living room.
Honestly, it was my favorite part of the night. The Son now sings ” I am a C. I am a CH. I am a CHRTEM!” every time he plays his guitar.
A weaning party in Genesis
Catch up with what Abraham and Sarah had been up to HERE.
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Genesis 21
The Birth of Isaac:
Now the LORD was gracious to Sarah as he had said, and the LORD did for Sarah what he had promised. Sarah became pregnant and bore a son to Abraham in his old age, at the very time God had promised him. Abraham gave the name Isaac to the son Sarah bore him. When his son Isaac was eight days old, Abraham circumcised him, as God commanded him. Abraham was a hundred years old when his son Isaac was born to him.
Sarah said, “God has brought me laughter, and everyone who hears about this will laugh with me.” And she added, “Who would have said to Abraham that Sarah would nurse children? Yet I have borne him a son in his old age.”
The child grew and was *weaned, and on the day Isaac was weaned Abraham held a great feast.
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*Isaac was weaned at age five according to most scholars. Way to work those old girls, Sarah!
(Read the rest of Sarah, Abraham, and Isaac’s story HERE)
Hupdates. Alternate title: Dear blog, I have been having an affair with real life.
We had vacation bible school last week. I was in charge of the story telling room, and built -in this order- a mountain top and a burning bush, Pharaoh’s palace, an Israelite village, the upper room in Jerusalem, and the Red Sea-parted. (That reminds me of my favorite lyric in Love Shack, “Tiiiiiiin Roof—Rusted“. Now whenever I say the Red Sea I sing it, “Reeeed Sea–Parted”. ) What was I talking about? Oh yes, vacation bible school. I would say I probably spent about 40 hours this past week either at church, or building sets at home.
The worst night would be the evening I had my room all ready the night before, Israelite houses built and the blood (red paint) in place to teach about Passover, and my Grandma decided to help. Oh, have I not mentioned yet that she was my helper? She was my helper. That night, she got to church way before me and “helped” by “cleaning” up my classroom. And taking down the set. And throwing away all of the pieces. I just switched the lesson around and it was fine, the kids never knew the difference. That same night she spilled an entire pitcher of red juice on the sisal rug in my classroom. Who knew the blood of Christ could not be Oxycleaned? Dear Lord, please forgive me for joking about Holy Communion, but seeing as how you know about the kind of week I had, I think you understand.
I was shaking I was so exhausted when I finally came home that last night, and we all slept late the next day. The Son just loved VBS. He has started wanting to say his own prayers at night since VBS began. They all start “Dear God, Thank you for letting me ride on the big airplane, and for vacation, and the funny car, and the hotel in Pennsylvania, and for vacation bible school, and church, and my trains, and for Herbie.” They continue with just Thank You’s for several minutes. So far he has not been thankful for his parents, but I really don’t care. Hearing my two year old pray, on his own with no prompting is the best positive feedback I have gotten as a parent thus far. Last night he fell asleep mid sentence. “Thank you for that man who….” “Is he asleep?” “I think so.” We got up to leave, and he said “Amen.” and rolled over and went back to sleep. That kid just melts my heart sometimes.
I had one day of rest and then it was on to the next thing, cleaning and decorating for 7daytrial’s virtual baby shower! I cut out approximately 4 million circles to use in my polka dot theme, but it turned out really, really cute. I will post pictures and tell you all about it soon.
Next up, I have to get on the ball with my MOPS responsibilities. Oh, did I not tell you? I have been asked to be on the steering committee for MOPS this year. I am the fund raising person. I have to mail out hundreds of letters this week begging for money from local businesses, all the while convincing them that I am not begging but giving them a great chance to advertise. I am mostly praying that I raise enough–because even though our community has not been super hard hit by the recession, it still is not a good time to ask for money. After that we have a huge fundraiser we do with a local photographer– local moms, EMAIL ME! I still have some really cheap coupons left to get professional pictures of your kiddos. Like ten bucks cheap. The Neighbor? I am saving one for you.
We also finally, FINALLY settled with the insurance company for The Husband’s wreck he had back in January. We prayed a lot over this one, and felt like we were being told not to be greedy and fight for more than they offered. He is well, the car is fixed, and medical bills will be paid–it was not worth going to court for more.
Hmm. What else? Uncle D and his friend came to visit, that was nice. Umm, oh, the monolithic swing set got blown over by another storm, and The Husband said a “daddy” word or seven. The Son is going to have a Herbie themed third birthday, and believe it or not I am going to go low key for it since we will be leaving for vacation that same week. We are just inviting family and his three bestest, his age exactly friends. I did, however, find a real live Disney made Herbie to come and make an appearance. He is going to FLIP out.
Yeah, that is pretty much it. Sorry I have been neglecting my blog, but you know what? Sometimes it is either that or neglect life, and I just can’t do that when I have such a nice one. So, tell me, what has been going on with you internet? You have been pretty quiet the last few weeks, so comment! Tweet! Go update your blogs!
Filed under Family-blame the DNA, Friends-All three of them, faith, lexapro lexplains it | Comments (3)Our Faith, our Hope, and our Honor
Written in pencil on the back of this photograph it says it is my great-grandparents, and my grandfather celebrating Independence Day 1929. I hope you spend your fourth with people you love, blessing God for America, since he has so blessed us.
Our hearts where they rocked our cradle,
Our love where we spent our toil,
And our faith, and our hope, and our honor,
We pledge to our native soil.
God gave all men all earth to love,
But since our hearts are small,
Ordained for each one spot should prove
Beloved over all.
~Rudyard Kipling