Cringing through the cute.

November 23rd, 2011

Look,  I understand that this tradition needs to go.  I am really sorry if  it hurts people’s feelings.   I even understand some of the Native American community equates this with blackface.  (The school  calls them Indians too. Not even American Indians.  Ack.)  Not cool.  So should I not have let him participate?   And, be the only one in his entire school who does not get to sing his little songs and be in the feast?

Keep in mind that I WORK at the school in question!  And it is a great preschool.  And, I LOVE working there.

He plays dress up every single day, why would he not dress as a Native American?   It is not like they painted his face red or anything!

Plus, see how cute?


And it really is about being thankful to God, and teaching the kids to acknowledge their blessings. And the preschool does that very well.


So this was his last year, next year it will be off to Kindergarten.  I think he will get a Pilgrim hat then.   Now his ancestors REALLY were Pilgrims (on the Mayflower and everything!)  so I know no one can get upset about that.   Right?

Dear Santa, I have been a good girl!

November 16th, 2011

and my Christmas will not be complete unless I have a Bear Claw Chair/sleeping bag.

This may be a fake probably is must be fake, but I don’t care!  I want one!


Awkward Family Photos

February 16th, 2010

You guys know this site , right?  My family has more than it’s fair share of chortle inducing  photos–and many of them include a certain birthday boy.   He perfected the art of looking annoyed with us pretty early on, but it was just an act.  I think.  Anyway, nothing says Happy Birthday like  cringe worthy posts!

This was taken 1992–I was 12 and JHJ was 9.  We were at some sort of educational fort thing.  Our vacations were always educational–something that The Hubs and I plan to continue even when we have a surly teenager.


I win the worst outfit award (I have never been to Hawaii, so this outfit was probably from TJ Maxx) , but JHJ gets props for the coordinating blue swim shoes and free hat.

Fast forward to 1999 (I think),  I was 19 and JHJ was 16.  He is wearing entirely black polyester.  In New Mexico.  In August.   This picture makes me wonder if he was thinking about jumping.  Or pushing.   I have vivid memories of this day.  We were staying in a condo in Santa Fe and then driving for day trips.  That morning we knew we were going to be hiking so Dad said JHJ could not wear his black shoes because it was dangerous.  Instead he had to wear white tennis shoes.   Look closely and you can tell who won.   I am wearing Doc Martin sandals (it was 1999, all college students wore docs), extremely practical for hiking.  Good thing my dad never notices my feet.


Even with the black polyester, Mom wins the ugly shirt award–embroidered Noah’s ark on anyone older than three is a no win.  Sorry Mom.

Happy Birthday Punk.

Only one title is appropriate here. WTH!

January 27th, 2010

THIRTY! I AM THIRTY!  Not Fifty.  Get it straight AARP.  THIRTY!!!


I am still suspicious of this being a prank and am squarely looking at my dad–but he seemed just so innocent when I questioned him.  Does anyone want to confess?  JHJShoeshe?

Overheard in TheHuckablazer with a special bonus.

January 20th, 2010

Scene: Pick-up line at pre-school

Me:   Hey sweet boy!  How was school?

Him:  Hi, Mama! I saw birds today!

Me:  Birds?!  Oh, did the bird man from the zoo come today?

Him: YES!  It was Awesome!

Me:  Good!  I am glad you  liked it.  What was your favorite bird?

Him:  My favorite bird was the owl.  She was beautiful and she pooped on the floor and the man stepped in it and it was so funny and I laughed.  Like this! (insert maniacal laughing here.)

Me:  That sounds funny!  What else did you learn today?

Him:  Well,  that is pretty much it Mama.  Just about owl poop.

Me:  Huh.  I hope that is on the SATs then.

Him:  We are home!  Can I have some yellow cheese and a donut with sprinkles?

BONUS! Overheard at the Kroger check-out line.

Her (strange old lady standing behind us): Hi young man!  What is your name?

Him (in a cart): —-

Her:  Are you shy? How old are you?

Him:  —

Her:  Why will you not talk to me?  I am your friend.

Him:   You are strange!

Me:  STRANGER!  He means you are a STRANGER, not strange, so sorry.

Him:   No Mama, I–

Me:    HERE, put some candy in your mouth.

Her:   Hmmph.

THIRTY things about this THIRTY year old on her THIRTIETH birthday.

January 16th, 2010

1.  I have a recurring  dream that I am out having fun with my friends, shopping or dancing or something, and I realize I have forgotten my kid and wake up in a panic wondering where he is.  He is usually just actually sleeping in his own bed instead of next to me.

2. There are so many things I love about my husband.  One of the main reasons?  He is a huge dork like me.  We are honest to goodness considering our vacation this year to be a 3000 mile road trip through all of the homes and travels of Laura Ingalls Wilder.  (Hey you know who, it goes through Omaha.)

3.  I never let my kid win at Memory or Hungry Hungry Hippos.

4.  My Christmas stuff was all put away on time this year- except for the sad undecorated tree which is still up and in my living room waiting for a new home at my BiL’s.  Next year I will not be spending two days putting the stupid thing together.

5.  I remember my fifth birthday party vividly.  It was at a McDonald’s.   As a rule I pretty much hate McDonald’s now.

6.  I get my feelings hurt really easily.  I saw a couple of Christmas party pictures on facebook, and my feelings were hurt that I was not invited to the party.  INVITE ME PLACES! I am so needy.

7.   I am having a crisis of confidence regarding my photography recently.

8.  My bedroom was yellow and white when I was a little girl.  I did not like it because I wanted pink, but looking back at pictures–it was ADORABLE, especially considering it was the eighties.

9.  I don’t think is representative of me.  It is supposed to be, and is in some ways–but I tend to post when feeling melancholy or upset and never when I am happy and cheerful.  I think that you all think I am depressed all the time, and really I am a happy person.

10.  By the end of this year a decision will have been made if  The Son is going to be a one and only or not.  I will either be scheduling a vasectomy for someone, or pregnant, or actively trying.  Not sure which one yet, but one of the three.

11.  We have way more books than we have room for, and yet instead of getting rid of some, we are planning on more book shelves.

12.  I have a huge green wall in my living room and want to have some of my photography printed on canvas and make a cool gallery wall.

13.  I have no idea how to transition The Son from pull-ups to normal underwear for nighttime.

14.  Cold Sassy Tree is in my top three favorite books of all time.

15.  I forget to bring my bible to church EVERY SINGLE SUNDAY.

16.  I like old fashioned names.  Like Martha, Josiah, Ezra, Ruth and Elijah (although that one is getting trendy).

17.  I disliked that my name was so popular, but I love the name itself and the history behind it.

18.  I played in a germy ball pit today.  I had fun and found a token.

19.  I left my mascara in the huckablazer last week and it froze and broke the wand.  I have not yet replaced it and so I have gone sans makeup ALL WEEK.

20.  Are you my Mother is my favorite kids book.  Today anyway, tomorrow it will probably be Green Eggs and Ham again.

21.   I worry about the fact that my grandma keeps losing things from her apartment–for many reasons, but one of which is that some of that stuff will one day be mine.  How horrible is that!?

22.  When I was thirteen I got head lice from sharing a brush with a girl at school.  My hair was super long and it took MONTHS to get rid of.

23.  I have gone from anti-facebook to facebook addict in three months.

24.  What I want more than anything else for my birthday is a clean house.  I mean really, really the pope could come over clean.

25.  I have marked off one of my new year’s to-do list items already.  We have a lovely guest room again and not a storage hole.

26.  You can see the rocket on google earth.

27.   I buy trendy shoes and then only wear my comfy flats.

28.  I swear by consignment shopping.  MOST of my clothes and ALMOST ALL of The Son’s clothing comes from consignment sales.  And you never would have known if I did not tell you.

29.  I need five pillows to sleep.  Two for my head, one on each side, and one for my feet.

30.  I would like you to donate to this for my birthday present.  It is an amazing organization, and all monies go to aid-not proselytizing.  I promise.

thanks for the idea Dr. Ang.

A limerick for my Father.

January 14th, 2010

My dad is a nice guy named Barry

whose chin and cheeks have grown quite hairy.

The beard is short and normal in size,

but quite hard on my poor eyes.

I hope for a visit from the razor fairy!


ps.  My dad’s name is not really Barry.

pps.  Everyone hates the beard

ppps.  he does not seem to care

pppps.  Okay, I really don’t hate the beard, it is better than the handlebar mustache, but not as nice as his nice smooth cheeks.