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Politics and Religion
December 7th, 2009
Right? Aren’t those the topics you are never supposed to discuss? I try not to say too much about politics–you know how I feel, and nothing either of us says is going to change the others mind so let’s just drop it, shall we? Religion is different. I would never want to be accused of hiding my light under a bushel. I am not ashamed to be Christian. You know that too. What I don’t talk about ever is anything that is considered less than hunky-dory with my church. I don’t ever want to discourage someone who has not found a church family to be afraid to try because of something I say.
But. The thing about churches are that they are made up of people. Not saints. Not perfectly versed and always compassionate masses, just individuals who are human and make human mistakes. If I, and other people, try to pretend that everything is great all the time then it just gives ammunition to those who call us hypocrites. Call me bossy, and nosy, and lazy–but you can’t say I am hypocritical. I am a Christian and not a perfect one.
The truth is that I am writing this mad. Mad and upset and hurt and confused and embarrassed. I should never write mad, upset, hurt, confused, or embarrassed, much less all of them smooshed together–but this blog is my therapy remember?
I went to highschool with this kid named Chad (not really Chad, but close enough) he was my friend and we both went to the same small church, it is still my small church. Both of us had been members there as long as we could remember. It was his home church, his family church. I went away to college and Chad stayed at a local school. He met this girl, a lovely girl, Corey, who was a little older–and funny, and sweet, and totally dingy, but it was part of her charm. They fell in love and got married in our church. They joined as a couple, and life was hunky dory. But it wasn’t really. Something stupid happened that hurt feelings and left Corey feeling mad and upset and hurt and confused and embarrassed. Instead of working it out and forgiving and moving on with this church they were so committed to–they quit. Just up and quit the church! Not just the church, but the whole denomination! Chad made it very clear to me that his wife felt very strongly about it, and that he was going to go where she went.
I ran into Corey at a mutual friends house right after they quit. Never known for my tact, I straight up asked her why, why and how, she could do such a thing. She explained that she felt like the church was not giving her anything anymore, that she was not getting what she wanted. I told her that we only get what we put in, that if she was unhappy she needed to work to change it. She said it was not worth it when there was a whole other better for her church right down the road. I countered that she had made a commitment in joining our church–and was she just going to quit on her marriage when it got hard and there was another guy just as good down the street? She got mad. I wonder why? I seem to have that effect on people when I don’t keep my mouth shut.
That has been over five years ago, and I STILL feel hurt that they would just quit.
There is another storm brewing at our church–no not really, I think it is no longer brewing and has been pounding us hard for some months. I have not said anything here because I want you to know that I love being a part of a community of faith, that I feel most at home in my pew on Sunday mornings or helping on Wednesday night.
Yet, I am still mad and upset and hurt and confused and embarrassed. I am unsure what to do. I feel like I have prayed for months and still do not know the right thing to do. I saw something wrong and tried to follow my own advice–see something you don’t like? Don’t just sit there, do something about it! Say something about it! Well I am sick of it. I want to take the easy way out. I want to take my little family and just walk away and move on to another church family because I am tired of fighting for what I think is right. There are other churches in this town, even other good ones, other good Methodist ones!
Except I won’t leave. Those other good churches have problems too, because they are made up of humans just like mine. I won’t leave because I feel like I can turn the other cheek still. I can lay down my anger, and hurt, and embarrassment and take up another cause at my church. I think I can anyway. I want to. I pray that I can move on, that I can remember that my church is a lot more than ugly chairs, misspelled signs, sun shades that dim the brilliance of a stained glass window, unfinished playgrounds, politics and one bloated egomaniac. My church is my home, my family, my spot to connect with my Lord.
No, I won’t take the easy way out. Now, if you will excuse me, I have a sheep costume to make for a certain little church’s Christmas pageant.
Filed under faith, lexapro lexplains it | Comments (3)3 Responses to “Politics and Religion”
Do great minds think alike or what? Have you read ShoeShe yet today?
Also, I think hurt feelings are one thing (and a big thing) that are fixable, so my advice would be to stay the course if that’s the only issue. I think, however, that not being able to feel at home in your own church is completely different, and trying out new waters would be excusable. That’s just my opinion, you can take it for what it’s worth.
I must comment that this frustration that some us long time members are feeling is because our little church had been considering every physical change in a counsel meeting that anyone could come to and discuss prior to a vote by the counsel members. Apparently that is not the Methodist way. Enter new members and a pastor that have come from very large churches used to operating in a way where a handful of people called trustees, selected by a nominations committee for a three-year term can, and do, make changes without approval of the counsel and it has led to this frustration/anger of some.
We are a family, and sometimes families disagree. Comparing it to a marriage is appropriate. You don’t just walk away when you disagree and you don’t always get your way. But, the commitment to each other and the overall benefits of the union remain.
I don’t have a solution, only that none of these changes, or feelings, keep us from gathering for corporate worship of God with the community of faith to which we have committed our prayers, tithes, service, and presence. My prayer is that not a single member is lost over the change in procedure. Also, that we can lay aside our personal feelings of these physical changes and work together to glorify the name of God and take his message to a hungry world. And, last, that not a single person reads this and decides that committing their life to God and a church community is not for them.
I feel strongly about talking to you one-on-one about this. ‘Til then, I suggest you faithfully do what I’ve done daily for the past 18 months in my own very difficult (work) situation, pray every single day, “Lord, help me with this relationship, please bless this person (boy, sometimes that part really sticks in my throat) and please give me the attitude You know I need.”
Oh, and remember that I didn’t understand the way your church operates organizationally til you told me as our denomination is a democracy based on deacon-body recommendations. BUT, our denomination has historically had more than our share of conflicts because of that very democracy.
Where 2 or more are gathered together….there will be conflict! Even Paul had to deal with church conflict, so there is truly “nothing new under the sun”. But being IN church, regardless of human failings is WAY better than out of church (take it from one who has done both)!
I love you….will continue praying for you and yours.