Why I cannot stand Gary Tygert Pennington

January 20th, 2009

I was sitting in the Huckablazer, waiting on The Husband to return the rental car,while The Son was carrying on a very detailed conversation with a rubber dinosaur and a plastic comb.  Bored, I began to idly flip through the February edition of Parents magazine (I get this free, and would never pay for this vapid excuse for parenting advice ((please do not email me about how you love Parents and it saved your life, blah, blah, blah. I just think it is highly overrated.)) when I saw this:


Well the print version anyway, this is from Similac’s website.

You probably already know how I feel about formula in general; but really, could someone please tell me what Ty Pennington has to do with baby formula?  Nothing.  He just is greedy and takes any endorsement deal he can get. I am adding this to the official, “Why I can’t stand Gary Tygert Pennington” list.  I can just tell that you are dying  to know the rest of the list.  No?  Well sorry, this is all I have for you today.

1. Look at him:


This guy is 44 years old.  He has a not quite soul patch, not quite chinapillar.   He has said he goes to a spray tanning booth when he is not shooting, his hair…well, just look at it!  He is 44! I do like this jacket though, for me not The Husband.

2.  I met him once and he was a total egomaniac.  He was going from desk to desk signing autographs at our office.  I just shook his hand, and he seemed surprised I did not want him to sign my cell phone.   I was surprised because he was much shorter than he looked on TV, and his girlfriend just followed him around handing him sharpies, not talking and had an identical haircut.

3.  Speaking of his girlfriend, he cheated on Drea Bock, his girlfriend/manager of 11 years, with a stripper.  Ew.  I guess next he will be endorsing herpes medication.

4.  Even though he is more than capable of hiring a cab, he was arrested and convicted of DUI.  He apologized and Disney (who owns ABC, Extreme Home Makeover, and Ty) glossed over the whole affair.

5.  He is an endorsement whore.  Besides being Similac’s spokesperson (even though he has no kids! Nor any medical background to compare formula to breastmilk! Or a uterus!),he has also endorsed the ADHD medication Adderal (which he also takes ((which, by the way,  should not be mixed with alcohol)), the now defunct Furniture Unlimited, cell phones, Bayer aspirin, and of course Sears.  There may be more, but these are the only ones I could find.

6.  As we saw many times on Trading Spaces, and now on Extreme Home Makeover, his taste is marginal at best.  Look at his bedding line if you doubt me.  Do you know what he calls his “style” ( I am using that term loosely obviously)? Creativi-TY and sTYle.  Gag.

7.  He gets published when there are so many awesome writers who have to try for years to be read by a publisher.   He has written three books and now has a quarterly magazine.  How can you write that much about platform beds and mdf?

8. He is tacky.  He was asked to tone down all of the double entendres in a caulking chapter, and every book has a picture of him nude in the shower.

9.  Lastly, and this is more a negative of ABC than Ty, but he should know better, an Extreme Home Makeover makeover will add thousands of dollars in new taxes to the new homes they build—which, in all likelihood, the owners can’t afford.  They capitalize on an easy tear jerker, without considering the social consequences of erecting a Mcmansion that often towers over every other house on the block.   Extreme Home Makeover and Ty Pennington offer the shallow American dream,  leather sectionals, stainless appliances, whirlpools and half a dozen flat-screen TVs—all thoughtfully provided by the show’s sponsors.  They think this will bring happiness, no matter the affliction.

In other words, I would pick  Nate Berkus any day of the week  (even if he is Oprah’s lapdog).  For those of you who need more heterosexual and rugged eye candy than Nate can provide, might I suggest Mike Rowe?  (disclaimer:  I, myself,  like the more geeky, intelligent, cuddly sort, think The Husband) Mike is hard working, well read, and, when clean, down right yummy.

2 Responses to “Why I cannot stand Gary Tygert Pennington”

  1. ShoeShe on January 20, 2009 6:57 pm

    Wow! I can agree with you on a couple of points (such as why would Ty ever have thought it would be a good idea to advertise formula), but I have to say I think he’s not so bad to look at.

    I also think that while I, personally, don’t love every piece of Ty’s bedding line, you do have to consider the target market. Most of that stuff is a bit edgy/trendy, and is designed for city-dwellers, teenagers, college kids and the young party crowd. I absolutely think he hit the mark for those target audiences. Everyone else can check out Pottery Barn et al for the more traditional looks.

    And, while I don’t love all of his woodworking styles, I have to admit that I admire his workmanship. While on Trading Spaces, he was limited to MDF because of budget restraints, but now that he is able to spend a pretty much unlimited budget, he does cooler stuff. Some of it is a bit tacky, and I wouldn’t necessarily want it in my house, but he does take into consideration the family’s style (or lack thereof).

    I agree about the book deals, but such is the case for many untalented-writer-wannabe celebrities. They can get idiots (think…the masses) to buy their books without substance, because most of those people lack substance to begin with, so they don’t really know any better.

    And…I’m a bit of fence-sitter on whether or not the idea of “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition” is a good idea socially/economically. While it is true that many times the McMansions wind up being the largest/nicest house in an impoverished area of a community (which begs the question…have there been any break-ins to steal all the cool gadgets?), a lot of the time the show seeks out families who live in the middle of nowhere, so that’s really a non-issue. As for the money end, in most episodes, the family’s mortgage is paid by whatever benevolent construction company is helping for that show. While it is true that families who receive new vehicles would most likely have to pay taxes on those, since EMHE assumes a family’s mortgage (I guess I need details), I doubt there would be any different taxes than the family’s existing structure.

    As for whether or not the show can fix social and economic problems for some people, I’d have to disagree with you. I’m thinking of an episode from last fall where the family’s home had burnt down. They had several children, and were living in a very small apartment (while also continuing to pay the mortgage on their nonexistent home…they didn’t have good homeowner’s insurance). They were stuck in a mortgage whether the house was there or not. Building them a new home on an existing lot was a major step toward rebuilding that family’s life.

    Then there was the family with several children (only two of which were their own…they fostered/adopted the others – twin girls with fetal alcohol syndrome and a little boy with very special needs…plus their own two sons), and lived in a house that was literally falling apart. The 8-year-old was a hybrid dwarf (that sounds bad, but I’m not sure about the medical terminology), and he couldn’t walk, had to be carried or in a wheelchair all the time, had such brittle bones that a simple fall (or his mother picking him up slightly the wrong way) would break them, couldn’t use the bathroom by himself, had to sleep in a dog bed on the floor (because of the brittle bones). What Ty and his team of volunteers did for that family was priceless. The young boy got his own bedroom with the bed sunk down into the floors, new flooring throughout the house with cork so he wouldn’t break any bones, his own bathroom with a toilet he could scoot to on his own and a shower that was made for someone his size, and so many more cool things. I know there are families just like that one all over the country (and world, for that matter), but if we want less government in social instances, then we should consider taking advantage of the generosity (or fame) of individuals and/or corporations to get the job done in as many areas as possible. While the HD plasmas, laptops, DJ recording systems, leather furniture, whirlpools, fancy appliances, cars, trucks, gardens, fashionable bedrooms and new homes may not bring happiness forever for the families who get them, the medical equipment that couldn’t otherwise be afforded and the thought of a community rallying around a family who needs their help (and usually the family picked provides quite a bit of help to the community in the first place) is a real inspiration to the millions of people who tune in weekly to watch Ty’s show. The show provides a glimmer of hope.

    While we have seen economic ramifications for at least one of the EMHE families who got in a financial bind and got a second mortgage on their home only to lose the home during the credit crisis of ’08, I have a feeling that with as many watchful eyes and negative Nancies we have in this country, we’d hear about any of the other problems caused by these new homes (i.e. break-ins, loss of home due to financial or other problems, strange behavior, etc.).

    I would however, as a viewer of EMHE, like to see some post-EHM specials. I’d like to know how these families are doing 6 months to a year down the road.

    Okay…that, in a nutshell, is why I don’t totally agree with you. But you made some excellent points, and I still totally love you!

  2. Ang on January 21, 2009 8:18 am

    Ty Pennington is a tool. I agree that I liked him a lot more when he was just plain ol’ carpenter Ty on Trading Spaces (and I seem to remember Hey You swooning over him during that time as well). I have to agree that Nate Berkus is totally yummy (and I LOVE his line…we bought some shower curtain hooks of his from one of the Bedding and Bath giants and they are uber-cool). Oh, and you forgot about Mike Holmes (as in Holmes on Homes). That man can fix my sink anyday! 😉

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