I was sitting in the Huckablazer, waiting on The Husband to return the rental car,while The Son was carrying on a very detailed conversation with a rubber dinosaur and a plastic comb. Bored, I began to idly flip through the February edition of Parents magazine (I get this free, and would never pay for this vapid excuse for parenting advice ((please do not email me about how you love Parents and it saved your life, blah, blah, blah. I just think it is highly overrated.)) when I saw this:
Well the print version anyway, this is from Similac’s website.
You probably already know how I feel about formula in general; but really, could someone please tell me what Ty Pennington has to do with baby formula? Nothing. He just is greedy and takes any endorsement deal he can get. I am adding this to the official, “Why I can’t stand Gary Tygert Pennington” list. I can just tell that you are dying to know the rest of the list. No? Well sorry, this is all I have for you today.
1. Look at him:
This guy is 44 years old. He has a not quite soul patch, not quite chinapillar. He has said he goes to a spray tanning booth when he is not shooting, his hair…well, just look at it! He is 44! I do like this jacket though, for me not The Husband.
2. I met him once and he was a total egomaniac. He was going from desk to desk signing autographs at our office. I just shook his hand, and he seemed surprised I did not want him to sign my cell phone. I was surprised because he was much shorter than he looked on TV, and his girlfriend just followed him around handing him sharpies, not talking and had an identical haircut.
3. Speaking of his girlfriend, he cheated on Drea Bock, his girlfriend/manager of 11 years, with a stripper. Ew. I guess next he will be endorsing herpes medication.
4. Even though he is more than capable of hiring a cab, he was arrested and convicted of DUI. He apologized and Disney (who owns ABC, Extreme Home Makeover, and Ty) glossed over the whole affair.
5. He is an endorsement whore. Besides being Similac’s spokesperson (even though he has no kids! Nor any medical background to compare formula to breastmilk! Or a uterus!),he has also endorsed the ADHD medication Adderal (which he also takes ((which, by the way, should not be mixed with alcohol)), the now defunct Furniture Unlimited, cell phones, Bayer aspirin, and of course Sears. There may be more, but these are the only ones I could find.
6. As we saw many times on Trading Spaces, and now on Extreme Home Makeover, his taste is marginal at best. Look at his bedding line if you doubt me. Do you know what he calls his “style” ( I am using that term loosely obviously)? Creativi-TY and sTYle. Gag.
7. He gets published when there are so many awesome writers who have to try for years to be read by a publisher. He has written three books and now has a quarterly magazine. How can you write that much about platform beds and mdf?
8. He is tacky. He was asked to tone down all of the double entendres in a caulking chapter, and every book has a picture of him nude in the shower.
9. Lastly, and this is more a negative of ABC than Ty, but he should know better, an Extreme Home Makeover makeover will add thousands of dollars in new taxes to the new homes they build—which, in all likelihood, the owners can’t afford. They capitalize on an easy tear jerker, without considering the social consequences of erecting a Mcmansion that often towers over every other house on the block. Extreme Home Makeover and Ty Pennington offer the shallow American dream, leather sectionals, stainless appliances, whirlpools and half a dozen flat-screen TVs—all thoughtfully provided by the show’s sponsors. They think this will bring happiness, no matter the affliction.
In other words, I would pick Nate Berkus any day of the week (even if he is Oprah’s lapdog). For those of you who need more heterosexual and rugged eye candy than Nate can provide, might I suggest Mike Rowe? (disclaimer: I, myself, like the more geeky, intelligent, cuddly sort, think The Husband) Mike is hard working, well read, and, when clean, down right yummy.Filed under Breastfeeding, Soap box, Time Suckers | Comments (2)