Dear Body: a friendly reminder.
Look, we have gotten along well for almost 29 years, more than that if you count our time in utero. I feed you, cloth you, make sure you are clean. I shave the parts that need to be shaved, and moisturize you regularly. If you get sick? I take you to the doctor, and then take medicine to make you well.
All I ask of you? Okay, well, actually I ask quite a lot of you but this is an important one. Don’t do anything weird. Doing things that make doctors say “Hmm, I don’t know what that is. ” That is bad. Undiagnosable strangeness to an OCD hypochondriac is just about as bad as it gets. The only thing that makes it worse? If that OCD hypochondriac has high speed internet, a laptop, and WEBmd bookmarked. In other words, this rather large, magenta, itchy, ouchy, lump that is on my left forearm? The one that no one knows what is? NOT COOL.
They say you are not allergic to Amoxicillin, my first thought, because mystery lump is too soon, not in enough spots, and because you have never been allergic before. So what is it? Are you mad at me for kissing my strep infected husband? I can’t help it, plus you have always responded quite favorably to The Husband.
I will continue to take Amoxicillin, we will kick this strep throat together. And, the mystery lump?….Handle that for me will ya? Because I am getting carpel tunnel from googling pictures of allergic reactions, and can only measure the circumference of mystery lump so many times before The Husband carts me off to the loony bin.
Sincerely,
Hey You Itchy Arm Red Throated Huckablog
Filed under NaBloPoMo, To Whom it May Concern, lexapro lexplains it | Comments (3)Oh, bloody hell.
Strep throat. I has it. MMiL has The Son and I am popping The Husband’s amoxicillin like Skittles. And yet I posted, I should get some sort of NaBloPoMo award.
Filed under NaBloPoMo | Comments OffThis so totally counts. Yes it does.
The Husband has strep. The Son is clingy. The Puppy needs attention. Bazaar and Bake Sale at church tomorrow and I have nine zillion more gingerbread men to make. Counting the minutes until MMiL comes and takes at least one of the babies home with her. Tomorrow I will tell you about The Puppy’s makeover. All I can say is Yowza!
Filed under NaBloPoMo, lexapro lexplains it | Comments (3)Just Hypothetically of course.
Hey Internet! I have a hypothetical question for you. If you had a hypothetical dog…..one that was a yorkie mix, was female, about nine months old, and had been going by the name Molly, what would you name her? I, hypothetically of course, think the name Molly is too close to Polly, we have some friends who have a human child named Molly and think that she, hypothetically, needs a new name to match a new family.
I kind of like names that are in the whole Katydid, Pollywog, Skeeter (an outside cat we had for a few months) genre. You know, naturish, yet that can be shortened to a cute nickname. So far I have thought of Ladybird, Cricket, Butterfly, Flutterby, Robin, Guppie, Doodlebug, Mayfly, Grasshopper (which is BIL’s nickname for The Son, BTW), Stinkbug, Birdie, Cherry, Tilly, Tiddlewink, PussyWillow, Magpie, Sparrow, Acorn, Starling, Chickadee, Turtledove, Minnow, Primrose, Buttercup, and Radar O’Reilly, hypothetically.
This would be a picture of the hypothetical dog.
After a much needed bath. The hypothetical haircut and vet check will be tomorrow.
One is Silver and the Other Gold.
Did you know aside from family members, the longest relationship I have had with someone is ten years? That would be Cat. My relationship with ShoeShe has been nine years, and Ang eight. The Husband has been seven. We moved several times as I was growing up, so I have no “childhood friends”. In some ways this was good because it made me good at making new pals, and I was really not shy around strangers, but it would be nice to have that history with someone to which I was not related. I do not know what it is about Cat, or Shoeshe, or Ang, that has caused us to stay in touch; to defy those odds.
Cat and I met when we were college freshmen and I loved her from the moment she started telling me stories about her mom. Cat quickly outgrew me. While I was busy being a stupid college kid, she was being a grown-up, but we were still friends. She moved away, and it would have been really easy to lose touch…but we didn’t. She moved, I moved, She moved, I moved, She moved, she moved, she moved, and still we are friends. The best part, even if we have not seen each other for months, it seems like it has just been hours. I love her, and her husband, and fully expect us to still be friends in thirty years.
I could not bear Shoeshe when I first met her, she was a loathsome sorority girl. She lived across the hall in our dorm; I tried to avoid her, and she kept going out of her way to annoy me. She just kept popping up. The last straw was when she popped up in my favorite class, Model U.N. (that is too a class, yes it is, I got credit for it as an undergrad AND a graduate student.) We bonded over resolutions for getting Greece out of Djibouti. It turns out that we had a lot in common and she really was not a very good sorority girl. I love her too and my son ADORES her. He has said every day this week, “foo ball with Sueshe today Mama?” I made the mistake of telling him we were going to visit her and see a game in the next couple of weeks.
Ang was introduced to me by Hey You Richardson, Ang grew up in the town near her and they had the same major. I met Ang a few times, thought she was really smart, and enjoyed her company, but we did not become close until we shared an apartment one summer. That was enough. Ang is one of the most brilliant people I have ever met, and yet was always up for doing something silly or fun. Did I mention that she introduced me to the love of my life? Yeah, she did. I could never, ever say thank you enough for that introduction. To be honest when she moved REALLY far away, I kind of thought that we might just end up being Christmas card friends, but we have kept in touch electronically pretty darn well, and I still count her as one of my best friends, even if I do wish she would be done with Nebraska already.
So why am I telling you all of this? Well, I am currently a little lonely for girlfriends. All three of those people? Live three, six, or God knows how many hours away. I do have some pals, but they all work, and have their own small children and understandably, want to spend time with their own families, as do I. I have been on a quest the last few months to really bond with other women. I need to spend time with people who have the same values, concerns, and interests as me. I am a social butterfly and thrive on interaction with people, and my poor husband can only hear me talk about what happened at play group, or how I should cut my hair so much.
I have joined MOPS, BSF, a SAHM playgroup, OES, LLL, have a great Sunday school class, and have cool neighbors. We have friends with little kids, whom we see once a month for our dinner club. We go to Gym class and Story time, with other SAHM’s, and between all of them smooshed together I have plenty of outlets for the whirl of thoughts that happen in my head. Of course you, darling internet, what would I do without my readers mom reading? Slowly, but surely, I am making more friends. But they are silver–and you, and you, and you–the three of you are gold. Thank you.
Filed under Friends-All three of them, NaBloPoMo | Comments (8)Parenting 101
Alternate title: I cleaned off my camera again.
I know most of you come to thehuckablog to learn how to be effective parents. I am highly qualified to teach you because I never make any of the mistakes first time parents are prone to make. Below is a follow up to my first primer on how to be an excellent parent.
1. First let us discuss the adult bed. Children should never be allowed in the parental bed. It forms bad sleeping habits by confusing children as to what the beds purpose is. Some of you may think it is “cute” or “fun”, to say, for example….make a tent out of your sheets using your leg as a tent pole. And then to pretend there is bear outside the tent causing you to shriek to make it go away. Obviously, this is highly discouraged.
If you take your role as a parent seriously, you should certainly not take pictures of your failings. One more piece of advice on the parental bed and play time…using the king size mattress to practice your gymnastics moves? A sure ticket to trade school for your young one.
2. Fresh air at the park is very important for growing toddlers. A parent should always bring a camera and focus on your child. Doing something like taking pictures of other kids is extremely dangerous and can lead to years of therapy for your child. Even if the other kids are really, really cute.
3. If you insist on letting your child play on equipment which is better suited for older children, make certain you stay nearby so you can catch him if he chooses to jump or push his friend.
I have no comment for this one…I just like the picture, hmm. Oh, here is one. 4. Make certain your child is properly dressed for outside play. A jacket in November should be a requirement.
5. Encourage your child to play according to manufactures recommendations. Never let him spin around until he falls off on something meant for older children’s feet.
6. Children’s safety equipment is highly overrated. There is no need to make your kid wear a helmet, even if he is prone to falling off of various pieces of ride-on toys.
7. Make certain to walk in front of a small child on the street to clear any dangerous debris out of his way,
and to make sure he stays on the right path. Surely there is no need for me to tell you to keep your child out of neighbor’s yards. (It is not yours!)
8. If perchance the child’s toy were to run down its batteries, you should assist the child in returning home. Never, for example, say “you got it out here. You push it back.” That would just be mean.
9. Finally bedtime is a time of quiet and reflection. We here at thehuckablog recommend yoga to unwind. You would be surprised just how much meditating a two year old can do on his head. Five minutes before bed. Not wearing pants.
If you follow these simple suggestions, your child should be well on the way to being happy and well adjusted.
Filed under Boy is my face red, NaBloPoMo, Parenting for Dummies, Photography, The Son | Comment (1)All I can say is that we need to pray.
Because this? Is so totally and completely wrong, so against everything that Jesus promoted when on earth. Please my better equipped Christian friends, tell how not to hate this guy, because I just want to take his horrible signs and beat him over the head with them. I want to ask him if he has read the same bible as me. If he understands the concept of grace, and love, and that God truly loves every single one of us. Please discuss.
Filed under NaBloPoMo, Soap box, faith | Comments (10)