Mace and the Volkswagen

My parents used to have a mutt named Mace.  She was mostly hound dog, (we are southern so you have to say Hawnd Dawg), and while she was mostly a good dog, she had the terrible habit of eating grass.  They took her to the vet many times to see if she had worms, or what,  but she was always fine…just weird.  If they let her run free in their back yard, she would tear it up and eat my Mama’s flowers for brunch.   So they started tying up Mace when she had to go outback,  this so she would not destroy their carefully maintained landscaping.  It worked, so well in fact that when JHJ (their free lawn mower) went away to college their back yard became sort of overgrown.

My dad has this bizarre hobby of rebuilding old Volkswagens, he buys them when they have been rotting in someone’s field with a pine tree in the passenger seat and daisies in the manifold.  He then strips them and starts from scratch to make awesome, award winning vintage cars.  He usually works in his garage, but every now and again he will have to do a particularly filthy job in their back yard so as not to contaminate the show cars.

After Mace had been being tied up, when outside, for a few months he was working on a Beetle in the backyard.  He happened to drop one of his special german metric wrenches.  Because it was so close to dark, and the grass was high, he looked and looked but could not find this stupid wrench!  He gave up, threw the car cover over the Beetle and went inside, planning on looking for it again at daybreak.

That night when they put Mace out, for her before bed potty break, she managed to slip out of her collar.  She was only out about twenty minutes, but in that time she had managed to chomp all the grass in the side yard where the Volkswagen was being worked on.  My mom was pissed when she let Mace back in, knowing that the daylight would show her flower beds destroyed.

The next morning, my dad drank his coffee on the back porch.  He looked over where his hobby car was and saw gleaming in the dewy grass his expensive German metric wrench.  He was so pleased that he cried out. “A grazing Mace, How sweet the Hound, that saved a wrench for me!”

Just kidding, there was no grazing Mace, my dad always keeps his cars in the garage, and I am a huge goober who loves puns.  Share your favorite punny joke with me!

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