I was lucky enough to get out of a bad relationship very quickly–but only because my father saw something sinister I wasn’t mature enough to see. He stepped in, basically threatening the immediately-exboyfriend with legal action and maybe a few bruises. I was so grateful because I wanted to break up with the guy but too…I don’t know…desperate to have a boyfriend?…to do it myself. Thanks, Daddy.

I was the victim of abuse years earlier than that from which only God’s intervention saved me. It could have been a lot worse, and was bad enough as it was that I didn’t tell my parents until years later at the age of 18. I guess I didn’t tell because he was the almost-grown son of a dear family friend, but definitely I remember feeling ashamed as if I had done something wrong. Some part of me knew to protect myself and get out before he committed the ultimate abuse. Some part of me was self-protective enough to never allow him to be alone with me again. Parents, please let your children know that it is OKAY for a child to tell a grown-up (or almost-grownup) NO and that you will support that child NO MATTER WHAT when they’re being forced to do something they feel bad or wrong about doing.

Thank you HeyYou for the voice you’ve given to this epidemic of pain and shame so many girls and women endure. You’ve helped so many by sharing your story. I’m so grateful that you are in TheHusband’s life, because you provided him with healing and love that he was in need of as well. You two are God’s plan for the other, I have NO doubt!! I love you both.

Do you ever feel guilty for not pressing charges? I just keep thinking about the woman Ryan married so soon, is she okay? Could I have done something to make her life safer? What if he comes looking for me again someday? That is why we will never be listed in the phonebook….

The ‘trigger’ for him one day was that I was about 10 minutes late getting to his apartment. No warning, not fight before hand, he was just unhappy that I was a little late. When I tried to run, he slammed the door on my hand and locked it with the sliding chain. I tried screaming but there were roofers working on his complex so it did no good.

He played the suicide card as well, only before ‘that day’ instead of afterwards. So much so that I had stolen his gun and hid it in my dresser so he couldn’t use it on either of us.

I was a senior in HS and after I told him to never come near me again, he’d sit in the parking lot, watching my car, waiting for me to come out of school. Without knowing all the details, my prinicipal agreed to walk me to my car each day for months. (Luckily, he lagged behind as to not draw attention to me.)

I still lived at home and he knew where the spare key was hidden from obviously watching me come home at some point. One day my mom came home unexpectedly for lunch and he was in our house. She blocked the bottom of the driveway and called the neighbor to come over with her. My creep gave some lame excuse that I told him he could come get his tennis racket and he was just leaving. She didn’t know what had really happened to cause us to break up or she probably would have had him arrested on the spot.

For months, I would find notes on my car at work, at friends house, at school, in the grocery store parking lot, etc. Nothing threatening, mostly appologies and ‘how you doing’ and ‘please forvgive me’ – just enough to let me know that he knew where I was at all times and was watching.

My only advice to add is that people like this DO NOT CHANGE. After all this was said and and done, I found out that he had been arrested in his home town for beating one of his previous girlfriends to a pulp a year or so before we started dating. In the beginning, I never would have believed he was capable of such a thing. I knew his friends, his family, his life (so I thought) and no one ever gave me insight to his past. I am a firm believer that when someone crosses that line once, they will do it again – probably when you least expect it.

I’m glad you shared, I know it had to be hard. There are some things that have happened in my life that I could never tell anyone, so I admire your courage. I pray that anyone who needs to, reads this post and maybe finds the courage to leave a situation before it gets worse.

Thank you for sharing.

I didn’t know you when all this was happening, so I really didn’t know any details…just that you had a really crappy relationship with a crazy ex-boyfriend.

I’m sending you a huge cyber-hug for having the courage to share your story.

Just as this current election shows, you can not always take things at face value. Wisdom (life experience) and the application of sound judgment are required to weigh the seen with the less obvious and make the right choices.

Thanks for sharing this with us.