The Birth Rewind

By popular request, Time Warp Week continues.  Fine by me, nothing very interesting is going on around here this week anyway.  Today we get The Son’s birth…not day, but two weeks!  A note: this is kinda graphic, so if you are squeamish, you might want to go somewhere else today.

August 17th 2006:

7pm:   BIL and SIL returned from their Honeymoon in Honduras and brought with them recipes.  We go over to their apartment for Honduran food and a swim, contractions start in the pool.

9pm: Start timing contractions while watching Project Runway.  They are seven minutes apart, and are definitely not Braxton Hicks.  Also? The designers on PR are all apparently on acid.

10Pm: Contractions are less severe and move to 15 minutes apart. Damn.

August 20th:

7pm: Contractions start again and are five minutes apart.  We go to hospital.  While contractions are still five minutes apart and spiking around 70 on monitor, I have not dilated at all.  They send me home.  I whine.

August 21:

7 am:  When I step out of bed I fall down, baby’s head has pushed my hip socket so much I can barely walk and am in extreme pain.  It is also 105 outside.  Fun times.

11am: I make it to work and announce that there is no way I can do this anymore, I hate people.  I hate the company.  I hate talking to people about the company.  HR sends me home on paid FMLA.  I am glad that I did not quit for that government job.

3pm: Doctor puts me on bed rest and sets a date to induce me.  August 31.

August 22-26:

I lounge about, read blogs, sleep, eat, and complain.   People call every three minutes to ask if I am still pregnant.

August 27:

2am:  Wake up having VERY strong contractions.  Wake up Husband,  They are fiveish or fourish minutes apart.  Mucous plug is gone. Go to hospital.

3am:  Nurse on duty announces that I am in labor, but not dilated, and that there are no “empty” rooms, gives me some sort of drug and sends me home.  I cry and am convinced that baby is never coming out.

August 28:

9am: Back in hospital with strong contractions coming regularly, this time with Mom as Husband has already missed much work because of my capricious cervix.  Hip socket fully pushed out of place.  Still not dilated.  Ultrasound shows very big baby. Doctor tells me to expect a c-section. Tells me to come on Thursday morning bright and early.  Mom takes me for a pedicure, bed rest be damned.   I choose a hot pink polish.

August 31:

5am:  Alarm goes off, but I have been awake with contractions all night.  I have been in labor for two weeks at this point and not dilated at all.  Am having regrets about this whole baby thing.

6am: We drop off the dog with my parents, and head the now well traveled path to the women’s center. When we arrive we are informed that they have delivered 16 babies in the last 12 hours and have no room for inductions this morning.  I cry and demand to talk to doctor.  Nurse calls my OB, and finds that she had put me on the “Medical Necessity” list earlier in the week, so I am immediately given a birthing suite.  I watch other fat and hormonal women get turned away and I gloat, then feel bad and compare myself to a rude Bethlehem inn keeper.  (side note: 40 weeks before there was a major snow storm, and schools and businesses were all closed.  40 weeks later, our town sees the biggest baby boom in twelve years. Coincidence?)

8am: I change into hospital gown (ugly) and Husband and I have to give four generations worth of medical history to nurse.  They hook me up to monitors and what do you know, I am having contractions 5 minutes apart and have not dilated at all.  Is this sounding familiar? They give me Pitocin, and offer an epidural, I decline.  I am either going to do this all natural or have a c-section–there will be nothing in between.  Stubborn is just how I roll.

“That was a really big one.  How high does that thing go?”

10am: Mom, Dad, and JHJ are at hospital keeping us company.  We play Taboo, and watch just how high the intensity of my contractions have gotten.  I am able to breathe through them, but no longer able to talk during them.  Nurse offers epi again, I decline again.

10:30 am: I have still not dilated past 1.  Doctor says there will be a Huckablog c-section at 1pm.  They stop Pitocin drip, contractions are no longer as strong as they were.

12pm:  Emergency C-sections have delayed my OB,  my surgery moved back to two.

1pm: Nurse comes to shave my stomach.  I tell her I do not have a hairy stomach, but she proceeds to shave away, and shaves much um, lower, than anticipated.  (if that does not bring in new readers from Google searches nothing will)

2pm:  Anesthesiologist comes in (late) to do epi.  The hardest part was getting in position because of my hip and belly which is the size of a Swiss Alp.  Epi does not really hurt at all  (but I had also been in labor for a year and a half, so ya know, whatever).

2:15: Blood pressure starts to plummet.  I mean really plummet.  The Husband looks ashen, and Anesthesiologist keeps asking nurse, “How many bags did she have?” I start to panic thinking I had over packed and brought too many suitcases and what did that have to do with my baby and oooh, I am dizzy and AGG! What is going on? Turns out I should have had two full bags of fluids before epi and I had not had any.  I panic (a recurring theme), Husband calms me down.

2:20pm: I am totally numb from chest down, and for some reason my nipples feel like they are on fire.  I keep saying, “But my boobs hurt!” Nurse thinks I am crazy.  I complain louder.   Anesthesiologist says “whoops.”  Redoes something that I cannot see at my back and boobs no longer feel like they are going to fly off of my chest.  Blood pressure is still very, very low.  They contemplate giving me some drug or another but decide to “wait and see.” I don a shower cap.  And wait. And wait. And wait.

2:45: They finally wheel me into OR.  I keep asking for The Husband, and am fuh-reaked out.  Doctors argue over music, I feel secondary to the whole operation.  I am moved to a  scary looking table and my arms are strapped down. I do not like.

3:00pm  Husband is in OR wearing something Big. And Yellow. He keeps stroking my head and squeezing my hand.  Nurse gives him lecture about the dangers of looking “on the other side of the curtain”.  I make a joke about the wizard that no one gets.

3:10: I feel extreme pressure, and can feel doctor pulling apart what I guess were my stomach muscles.  It hurts, but not crazy bad.

3:14 (Pi!): I hear slurpy noise, a gurgle, and a cry.  Doctor holds The Son up, says, “He has a HUGE head, there is no way you could have delivered him!”  I see him for first time and say “he looks just like The Husband!” “He looks like a The Son!” Nurse agrees that is his name.  Husband cuts cord, and follows baby to get cleaned up.  They wrap The Son up like a burrito and let me just brush my fingers to his velvety face for far to short of a time.  Husband holds my hand for a few minutes, and then goes with baby to nursery and to inform awaiting grandparents.

That is my hand you see there on the left.

3:16:  OB shows me placenta per my request.  It is gross, but apparently did it’s job well.  The Son weighs 8 pounds 11 ounces and is 20 inches long. I feel them massaging my uterus.  It hurts. A lot.

3:25: I am losing way, way too much blood, I smell weird smell, and tell them my oxygen is bad.  Nurse laughs and doctor tells me it is a normal odor. It was really them cauterizing everything in sight I was smelling.  I freak out when they start talking about transfusions. I feel alone and wish The Husband or my Mom were still in the OR with me.  Doctors keep scaring me with medical jargon, I start to cry, they knock me out.  Not sure if it was for me or them. Probably both.

Around dinner time: (time gets blurry here because of drugs):  My whole family is in my room, they are chattering and I am way out of it, but no transfusion was needed.  Nurse brings in baby, I shoo out everyone but The Husband and I get to hold The Son for the first time, I unwrap him and look at all of his parts and immediately latch him on.  I felt tired, scared, and oh so very happy.

That was two years ago.  It is so hard to believe because I still so clearly remember all of the sounds, smells, and excitement of that day.    I hope I always will.

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