A change, a change would do you good. (or so says Ms. Crow)
Guess what my darling husband is doing right now? Designing the new and improved TheHuckablog! We are in the middle of a complete redesign, one that will let me do a lot more, one that will be able to handle our new found traffic, and one that may be able to pay for its self. We maaaaay have to take this site down for a couple of days to get the new one up, so be patient if you visit one day and are all “whaaa? Where did my daily dose of The Son go?”.
Now is the time to let me know if you have any suggestions for making this a better site. So you tell me, what can we do for YOU?
Filed under Time Suckers, lexapro lexplains it | Comments (5)Bleeding from the ears is normal right?
The Son has gotten so verbal lately, everyday he says something new, or puts together new short sentences. He has a few phrases that he will say over, and over (and over and over and over) and we have no idea what he is saying. He will say them louder and LOUDER because obviously his stupid parents are not bright enough to understand the perfectly clear linguistics of their genius child. The last few days he has been saying gecko? Gecko. GECKO. Mama! Daddy! GECKO! Anybody care to guess what gecko means? We finally figured it out tonight. You guess, and I will tell you if you are right or not later.
Filed under Parenting for Dummies, The Son | Comments (11)The Truth and Nothing but the Truth. Part 2.
You guys gave me some good questions, although some were definitely better than others. I did answer each and every one totally honestly. Feel free to C&P your answers in the comments! I would love to know, for example, how Kari P (who never comments) feels about glass eyes.
What is your least favorite book of all time? Hum. This a harder question than you would think because I probably don’t remember it, if I remembered it, then it at least made an impression of some sort, therefore not being a terrible book. So I would have to say, some really boring, horribly written book I have forgotten about. The one that I slogged through because I had to for school but was not crazy about? Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand.
Do you honestly think W has done a good job in his presidency? I voted for him twice, and I still think he was/is better than Gore or Kerry. I think he has done some very good things, and has made some poor decisions. I think that could be said about any president. (this answer was like four paragraphs long with examples and everything, but I deleted it because I just don’t feel up to political debate right now. Maybe later.)
Where do you see yourself in ten years? (have I answered some of these before?) Living in the same town, I would say that I would be working 20-30 hours a week in either the Insurance field, or in some sort of civil service job for the city/county/state. I will have an almost twelve year old and an (MAYBE) eightish year old. I will have just celebrated my fifteenth anniversary to the most wonderful man in the world.
What are your dreams for The Son’s future? I would love for him to be a minister. I think he has the charisma to be a politician, but mostly I just want him to be a happy, productive member of society. Oh, and live no more than four minutes away from me.
What current event has made you the maddest? I get mad when I hear about people taking bad care of their kids. I get mad that there are governments that care more about politics than their people. I get really, really mad when asshat celebrities comment about current events. Be it Sharon Stone being a moron about China, or when Paris Hilton tells us who to vote for. Seriously, you have no idea what you are talking about, so just STFU.
What current event has made you the saddest? People using religion to be a jerk makes me very sad. I think that Christianity is about love, and it is heartbreaking to see it abused and twisted into hate.
What current event has left you feeling apathetic? Anything sports related. Really who cares? And Why? If all the money spent on major league sports was spent on education or feeding the hungry then we would have a lot smarter and healthier population.
Hey You, did you know that I will be going to see Wicked when it comes to Omaha next year? No, that is awesome!
Jealous? Yes! Maybe I should come visit and see it with you.
Remember when I gave you my copy of the book because I thought you would like it? I do, and I LOVED IT.
Have you read the sequel (that came out approx. 2 yrs ago)? Yes, in fact Son of a Witch is on my favorites list. I wonder when the third book will come out?
Describe the causation, parameters, and effects of hatred. Likewise love. Good lord JHJ. Okay, um. Yeah. Hate: I would say that Fear always causes hate, and we hate the things we are the most afraid of. Also maybe ignorance? We hate the things/people we do not understand. I suppose the only parameters of hate are death and education. There will always be hate, because there will always be sin and fear and ignorance because we are human. The effects of hatred? Uh, all bad things ever? Self limiting behavior? Loneliness? Love: Grace has enabled us all to love, to feel loved, to be loved. Love, real love, is without boundaries. All goodness and light comes from love. That and puppies.
I note that you didn’t swear to tell the whole truth in the title of this entry. Is this to protect your carefully cultivated anonymity? Partially that, and also because these questions could be volumes of information, and I don’t really think anyone wants to read that.
If you could choose any artist from history, who would you select to paint your portrait? Well that depends, would I go back in time or would they come to present day? If I were to go back in time I would have to say Michelangelo, just so I could ask him questions, and see the Renaissance in person, (oh, I would need an interpreter as well). If the artist were to come here, I would say Johannes Vermeer, because his portraits are just, wow.
Use food as a metaphor to provide some insight into yourself. Warm, comforting, gets better with a little age, small amounts of onion that bite, chunks of ham that get all the attention, Tubers provide the bulk—they grow the most in the dark places, but are not useful until they come into the light. (Potato soup)
Would you rather have a booger hanging out of your nose or bad breath? Bad Breath.
If you had to choose between “wet” or “cold,” which would you choose and why? Wet, I love to be in lakes, rivers, oceans, pools, tubs, showers
What’s up with that? Well ShoeShe, it turns out that there is quite a lot up with that. Check it out.
Why do people say, “To be honest with you,” are they lying every other time they talk to me? I think that when people say “to be honest with you” it is before they say something they would rather not say at all, but have to for some reason, so they really want you to know it is true.
Who’s afraid of the big bad wolf? Since wolves are carnivores, any kind of meat should be afraid of them. Their diet ranges from big game, such as elk and moose, to earthworms, berries and grasshoppers. To avoid using too much energy catching their food, wolves prey on weaker members of a herd, such as old, young or sick animals. In summer, when the herds migrate, wolves eat mice, birds and even fish. They may also eat carrion. Al had better watch out.
When did you first know yourself? Myself has been constantly changing, so as soon as I think I have a grip of who I am, I grow up a little more. So…never.
Who has been most influential in your life? My brother, I am the classic elder sibling, always needing to be right, and often controlling. Eldests strive to keep or regain parental attention through conformity. They usually develop competent, responsible behavior and become very discouraged by failure. They strive to protect and help others, and to please. Yup , that is me. And it is all his fault.
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Three cords.
Do you have an “alias”? My son calls me Mama, and I get sweetheart, and honeys from various people. I actually really like my real name and I LOVE The Son’s name, so it is hard to keep up with the Hey Yous and The Sons all the time.
What has been the most frivolous thing you’ve ever done? Used a credit card to go to expensive restaurants, or shopping with my friends in college. Whilst unemployed.
What action have you most regretted? I would like to say there are things I should have done differently, for example, breaking up with pshyco old boyfriends a year sooner, but they make me who I am now, and make me appreciate the blessings I have. I guess I would have to say that I have said hurtful things to people when I did not mean them…or I meant them, but should have kept my mouth shut anyway.
If you could do anything for one week, regardless time and cost, what would you do? Is safety also not an issue? And can you assure me that The Son will not be traumatized? I would go work in a medical clinic for women in AIDS ravaged Africa.
I think you owe it to your readers to divulge why in the world you’re afraid of eye injuries and glass eyes. (mainly for those who didn’t know you were Ommatophobic). When I was 13 and sitting at my desk in Coach Aldred’s seventh grade classroom at North Forsyth Junior High, there was a group of kids making fun of this girl, Catrina. She was overweight, had greasy, long, dark brown hair, and a weird eye. Instead of saying anything, I just wrote a note to my friend. Catrina lost it, and started screaming at them, and started to cry. Her wonky eye looked even weirder, so she popped it out, (it made a noise!) and kind of rolled it around in her hands for second, stuck it in her mouth to wash it off, and then put it back in. The mean kids shrieked and left her alone. I felt totally grossed out by what she had just done, and by what I had NOT just done. Ever since, I have had an irrational fear of prosthetic eyes. Crazy, I know.
So, there is a little more about me. Other unknown facts? There is a huge purple stuffed hippo in my master closet; I have not slept with her since I got married, but she (her name is Violet) still comes out if I am sick or upset about something. What else? Hum, I love the TV show Little House on the Prairie. When I found out I was PG, I wanted a girl. (I am glad I was WRONG!) I used to Nest all day during work at the heartless cellular company. I do not always brush my teeth before I go to bed. And finally, I NEVER get a bowl for ice cream, it is straight out of the carton or nothing.
Ready, Set, GO! Day One of TheHuckablubber off.
I promised you a BIG announcement, and here it is. Ready? My darling friends, family, and readers whom I have never met, we are all too fat. Really, I hope that does not hurt feelings, or insult you. There may be a few readers who could even stand to gain a couple of pounds, but to be honest, they are far out numbered by those of us whose doctors would classify as overweight, or even obese.
I really do not consider myself to be an overly vain person, I spend way more money on books, movies, and of course eating out than I do on make-up, and yes even shoes. However, I am becoming THAT kind of mom on the playground.
You see since The Son has been born, I have spent a lot of time on playgrounds, the zoo, story times, and various classes for tots. There are two distinct categories of moms. There is the young, hip, mom who looks great and put together, she has tons of energy, and is always actively engaged with her children. In her wake there is a bottle of water and a baggie of carrot sticks. You can tell her tennis shoes are for more than just the park.
Then there is the frumpomom. She is wearing baggy clothes that are out of style, maybe stained, and have a high probability to also be sleepwear. She always has on a hat, or has dull hair, and she is sitting on the bench watching, looking as her kid’s lives pass her by, while she sits on her ever expanding ass sipping her Big Gulp and wondering if it is time for a nap yet. Her kids are usually begging for attention from her, or someone else, and unfortunately, they usually look like they would be more at home on the couch than on the slides, their little bellies poking out of their Spongebob tees.
Right now I do not really fit in with either set. I am the Mom in a dress that she could have worn to a casual office, or jeans and a top, and am wearing skimmers, or flats. My hair is knotted up with a hair tie and bobbypins. I have on make-up (basics only: concealer, mascara, gloss) half the time, and always have on earrings at least. But my shape puts me firmly in the frump category. I have the same belly, butt, and saggy boobs as the ladies on the bench. I am fine being my own subgroup in the playground kingdom, but I am not okay being one of the out of breath moms, one of the moms setting a bad example, one of the moms who is teaching her kids to be fat too.
It is time to stop this my chubby readers. For the next SIX WEEKS (that is from right now until July 13, we will say post your results by noon on 7/14) we will be having a get healthy competition. Every so often I will post how we are doing here at thehuckablog world headquarters, and invite you to tell us how you are faring. We will also invite any advice or stories about why you want to participate. This is a pound for pound weight loss competion, so just deal with it you “body weight percentage only” naysayers . That just takes too much math for me. The winner will get an awesome prize that I cannot announce just yet, but will soon (still looking for maybe a *gasp* corporate sponsor). This is going to be on the honor system (because I trust you!), but I do hope you can have a buddy in your area to keep you on track (like TheHusband for me, Tark for Cat and so on).
I hope this inspires us all to spend this summer getting healthier. I will tell you right now that my goal is to drop at least two sizes, I could care less what the scale says, as long as I feel good, and my clothes (and lungs) put me back in the hip category. I do not want to look back and see that all of my favorite pictures of The Son and I only include a tiny piece of my head. And right now, they all have half a face at best. So are you in? Come on, all the cool kids are doing it. Good! Now READY, SET, (put down that cookie, okay that is better.) GO!!
