Huckablubber update: week one of six
Guess what. I have lost five pounds this week! Guess what else. I have not been to the gym once. One more, guess how! FoodpoisoneColirotoviruscholera! Oooooh. If I could put it in a pill I would be a bazillionaire. This is not what I had in mind when I started this contest. Please do not use Mary-Kate practices to win. The prize is good, but not that good.
Also, I hear through the grape vine that some of you were mighty disappointed with my big announcement. Seems they wanted another kind of announcement…the kind that makes me get fatter instead of thinner. Although, it also includes gratuitous vomiting. Yeah, sorry about that. Have I mentioned that we do not have HEALTH INSURANCE right now? So, you can pretty much keep on dreaming for that announcement anytime soon.
Post how you have been doing so far in the Huckablubber off. Have you lost any weight? Do you feel better? What have you done to win this week?
Filed under huckablubber | Comments (10)That kind of Mom.
Yeah, I take pictures of pretty much everything The Son does. And then put them on the Internet. I wonder if we can use a 529 to pay for therapy? Here is the evidence of a normal morning at our house.
Huckabetter.
We are slowly coming back to life here at the Huckblog. I felt well enough to go to a Bachelorette party tonight, but when I tried to wash my hair this afternoon, my back and shoulders were so sore that I had to go the barber college down the street and pay someone four bucks to do it for me. She even flat ironed it for me for free. Yay, for being cheap! The party was at Kari P’s house, and do you know what she has?!? THE CAMERA!! The one I want soooo bad I might give a pinky toe for. Not mine, but maybe one of The Husband’s. He does not like his toes anyway. I played with it (her camera-not The Husband’s toe!) for a good hour, and tried to stuff it down my pants as I was leaving, but she is nursing so therefore was stone cold sober and would have noticed. Damn, her and her productive breasts.
Anyway, I have had a request for more pictures of The Son, so here, have some from earlier this week when we were all healthy and playing at the lake for the first time this year! This is the part of summer when all the pictures involve us submerged in water somehow or another. As you can see, there is nothing really wrong with my camera, it is nice and tiny, and fits in my pocket, and is a lot better than our old 4 mega pixel one. I just have nine zillion shots of the back of The Son’s head because he is so fast, and I have to do a lot of Photoshopping to get colors right. Oh well, it is better than nothing, so until I can get Kari drunk, it will just have to work.
This is The Husband’s even-if-you-accidentally-on-purpose-drop-it-in-the-lake-you-are-not-getting-a-new-camera look.
Filed under Photography | Comments (6)Overheard in The Boss’s Car.
The Husband’s Boss: Blah, blah, boring computer stuff, blah, blah, boring.
The Husband: Blah, blah, boring computer stuff, blah, blah, boring.
THB: Blah, blah, boring computer stuff, blah, blah, boring.
The Husband: Blah, blah, Ohh look a CHOO-CHOO!
Silence.
The Husband: Um, I have an almost two year old son.
THB: laughing. I can tell.
Filed under Boy is my face red, The Husband | Comments (3)Grammy’s Name Crisis
We picked the name “Grammy” for me because it seemed most compatible with “Grandpa” before The Son’s delivery date. I certainly did not want to be Grandma while my husband was insistent that he wanted to be Grandpa. I’ve been Grammy ever since.
Now TheSon has began talking he has a pretty good handle on Gigi, Pappaw, and even a kinda’ Grandpa. I have distinctly become MiMi. We’ve been acknowledging that he is speaking to/about me but calling me Grammy to him still. But, recently I’ve caught myself a few times calling myself MiMi to him.
Curiously when we were thinking of what my name would be, I thought about MiMi first. However, I chose Grammy because I thought we’d be able to shorten it to Gram and a teenager or adult would be more comfortable calling me that than MiMi.
What do Hey You’s readers think? Am I Grammy or MiMi?
Filed under Family-blame the DNA, The Son | Comments (19)Death on toast
We are sick. SICK! I started throwing up at about 11 last night, then the fever, then the aches. Now the Husband has quickly followed. I think that it is safe to say that we either have rotovirus, ecoli, food poisoning, or most probably cholera. We sent The Son to his grandparent’s so we could thoroughly spread the germs around. Hopefully we will feel better tomorrow. Anyway, posting will be light until we feel better. Be nice in the comments section, because I am not monitoring them.
Filed under lexapro lexplains it | Comments (3)Parenting for Dummies
Alternate title: In which I clean off my camera, and smoosh the pictures together to make a post.
Now that I am a seasoned and experienced parent of 21 months, I thought it was time that I gave you Hey You’s no fail rules to raising a perfect child. If you follow these rules closely, your child will grow to be healthy, and well developed.
1. Boredom is never acceptable. Every minute should be planned to the fullest for optimal educational value.
2. Keep child away from the filthy aspects of nature. Under no circumstance should your child be allowed to put something they find outside in their mouths.
3. Proper hygiene is essential to good parenting. Make sure your child bathes daily in fresh, clear water.
4. After your child has bathed, make sure that they are fully dried before dressing. If you put clothing on a damp child, chafing may occur.
5. Let your child have plenty of friends their own age. Exposure to adults outside of the family should be kept to a minimum.
6. Rest is a top priority for any child. Make sure their sleep space is free of any objects with no possibility of falling.
If these simple rules are followed then, Voila! You will have raised a successful child.
Filed under Parenting for Dummies, Photography | Comments (4)