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The itch you just can’t scratch.
June 29th, 2008
We had a bad day here at the Huckablog World Headquarters. The Son has learned how to scale out of his crib, and has refused to sleep all friggin day. Do you know what happens when he is tired? His head spins around backwards, and he emits screeches that have vultures lining our sidewalk. Days like this are the ones that I sort of wish that I could escape to a job….you know the kind AWAY from my house. The kind that pays more than kisses and stickers.
Then I remember that I had many more bad days at work. I was a stellar employee when I worked for The Heartless Cellular Company. It was mostly because (not being cocky, it was just a fact) I was about ten times smarter than (most, not all of) my co-workers. I did do stupid things. Really stupid things. Things that I should have gotten fired for. Below is an email that I wrote to CAT (she also worked at heartless Cellular Company) while working…..on my company computer….on my work email address.
Hey Girl! Did you have a good weekend? We stayed in all day yesterday because The Husband is COVERED in POISON IVY!! You will never believe how he got it…or where he has it!! Last week I needed to do some gardening and it was CRAZY hot out. All of my shorts were dirty, so I just tossed on a pair of his boxers with a t-shirt. When I was done outside, I chucked the boxers on the bed and The Husband thought they were clean! He put them on, and now has Poison Ivy all over his ass and …..um, boy parts! He is hilarious trying to scratch!! LOL. Gotta go, have customer on hold. She is a moron too, I am just going to make something up to get her off of the line –Hey You
See!? Wasn’t I a good employee? Well, Heartless Company thought so because unbeknownst to me they were recording all of my calls and taking screen shots of my computer to use in training sessions. That call had some lady on hold while I was emailing CAT and showed the entire email on a huge screen in front of about 50 people, including my boss. The fact I worked there for another two years after that was a shock to all parties involved.
I think I will just enjoy my boss who does not give a damn who I email as long as I keep the goldfish crackers coming.
Filed under Family-blame the DNA, The Husband |2 Responses to “The itch you just can’t scratch.”
ummm……yeah
They were clean laying on the bed, so when I put them on it was not as if I was stretching wash day. They were simply on the bed because they were the pair I was going to wear. As far as I can remember, they were in the exact same place I had left them so I had no reason to doubt they were STILL CLEAN!!!!
How did I find out they weren’t clean? A couple of days later I was covered in Poison Ivy in a delicate area, you know the one. So I asked Hey You where I might have gotten it, she said: “hmmm….I did wear your boxers the other day to weed the flower bed, do you think I got into to some then?” (luckily for her, Hey You doesn’t have allergic reactions to poison ivy). We both went outside to look and low and behold, there was poison ivy in the flower bed she had been weeding.
She started laughing……..uncontrollably.
I did not.
She apologized and told me that if she had known she’d gotten into poison ivy she wouldn’t have put them back on the bed.
I believed her……and forgave her…eventually.
But not before I played the poor helpless husband for all it was worth first. One more reason I’m glad that we no longer live at the house in The Hole. Poison Ivy in a flower bed? Who’s ever heard of that? good grief.
I can laugh now, but to this day if I see boxers on the bed, the first thing I do is ask Hey You, “Are these boxers clean?”
The answer is almost always, “Yes, I haven’t worn those today”
I love my wife, she takes such good care of me.
That story is hillarious since I too worked at the heartless “love less” cell phone company that I believe you are refering too… and I know all too well the whole recorded and screen shoted calls since I was one of those supervisors that watched and recorded lol!