Though I had some form of sex education at home and in school. My best education came from a class that was taught at my church to all jr. high students. In fact, I still have my book to this day.

Naturally a community with broken family structures is at blame here. Not only are they not being taught at home, they are probably not being loved at home either. These girls are not getting what they need at home and have the mistaken idea that having a baby will somehow fix things and give them someone to love and to love them back.

What is being overlooked in their naivety is how all the responsibilities of child rearing will be addressed. One of the best programs I’ve ever heard of is the parenting classes that are taught in high schools with the mechanical babies the students must bring home and nurture for a weekend. A good, stiff jolt of reality of what it is like to care for the baby is called for here.

Also, though I admire what the school district is attempting to do with the day care program for teen parents, I believe this should be removed from the school so these girls can not see these babies and romanticize the ideal of having one of their own.

I agree with the husband that birth control will not fix this situation because they wouldn’t take the pills or use the condoms. This is just another example of the brokeness of our society as our morals continue to erode and we become more accepting of aberrations of the traditional family.

It would be like trying to solve the AIDS epidemic in Africa by telling them not to have sex (oh wait, we tried that too!). They are going to have sex. It would be better to show them how to do it safely (well, kinda).

Things have changed a lot since I was in school. In our ninth grade health class, we had condom races. We had to put condoms on bananas and cucumbers. I only remember one or two girls getting pregnant the whole time we were in school (partly because I probably ignored a lot of what went on with people I didn’t hang with). But, condoms were always avaialable in our nurse’s office.

But…

I was a youth minister for three years in a suburban-ish town. Junior high students were taught “Abstinence by Choice” in eighth and ninth grade, but beyond that they got no sex education.

I was asked to lead one of the small groups in this week-long program two years in a row and did so hesitantly out of obligation more than anything else. I am a virgin…that’s right a 27-year-old virgin. I plan to stay that way until marriage, but I also know things happen when you meet the right guy. I haven’t met him yet, but when I do…who knows. They thought I was the perfect candidate to teach kids how “NOT” to have sex. However, I couldn’t even begin to answer many of the questions the girls had. I simply didn’t know the answers. And, I had to tell them that. So, the kids I had wound up thinking I was some kind of prude. I’m really not. I’ve just never had a relationship that led to anything more than making out.

All that said, I think it is highly ridiculous to teach abstinence ONLY in school programs. It’s archaic at best. As a small group leader, I wasn’t even allowed to say the word “condom.” I jokingly asked one of the leaders if they thought “condom” was like the “f-word,” and was told that condoms condoned the “f-word.” Okay. I can almost buy that, except that if we know that only 30% of high school girls haven’t…well, “f-ed,” then why would we be naive enough to think that they didn’t need some form of protection and education on how to use it?

Aside from the fact that they don’t allow the word “condom” to be mentioned in this “Abstinence by Choice” program, it is also led by all Christians. It is led by pastors and youth ministers from the area, along with a big-name nationally known youth ministry expert. They ask youth group volunteers and straight-laced parents to help lead. They bring in high school kids who are leaders in their youth groups to do skits and such. I know for a fact that two of the boys in the high school “leader” group had “relations” as they told them to me in detail while asking what I thought they should do. And, one of the girls who was a high school “leader” wound up pregnant later that year. Now, perhaps it was a second immaculate conception. But, I would bet that she also had “relations.”

Do they even realize how hypocritical this program is? Above that, do they realize that they have very little credibility among teens who aren’t sure about their faith. Who wants to listen to a bunch of “hypocritical” teens who are supposedly leaders in their churches…and who are also having sex…tell you how not to have sex? How would they know how to avoid the pressure, if they themselves succumbed to such pressures?

Now, all those soccer moms at my church thought the program was great. They basically forced those poor eighth and ninth graders to sign committment cards saying they wouldn’t have sex until marriage. They gave them contracts that their parents would also sign. They gave them workbooks. They played games. They did skits. They scared them with those pictures (you know the ones…the ones that look like cauliflowwer). They talked. They even prayed (in a school, no less). BUT…they left so many questions unanswered.

I’m all for teaching abstinence, but you also have to be realistic and teach safe sex practices as well.

Parents obviously aren’t doing that, because they think Susie and Billy aren’t having “relations.” Here’s a fun fact for all you moms out there. Susie and Billy aren’t just having “relations,” they’re having SEX! Susie and Billy may have started having blow jobs in second grade (as was the case in this suburban town of my ministry…seriously…in the movie theaters…back row…no longer just kissing…and no longer teens…now CHILDREN). So, why not let the schools teach the kids what parents are too embarrassed to?

Sorry. I’ll get off my soap box now. What is wrong with me? Who cares? I’m not having sex, why should I care if anyone else does?

And I thought teen pregnancy was bad when I was in high school. At least the teen pregnancies when I was in school were very much unwanted and regretted occasions….but these people actually wanted to get pregnant so bad that they all went to the same homeless guy? I mean, it wouldn’t seem (it would still be bad) as bad if they had at least talked their boyfriends into doing the deed, so to speak. But to walk up to a complete stranger who happens to be homeless and say, “will you get me and my friends pregnant?” That shows severe determination and seems to underline the fact that something in this community is BROKEN.

What can be done about this? Who knows, simply throwing birth control at it won’t help because these girls KNOWINGLY got themselves pregnant. They wouldn’t take birth control if it were handed to them, their sole purpose in having sex was to become pregnant.

I just don’t get it.