Lessons learned

I was asked on Friday what were the most important lessons that my dad has taught me. I really had to think about that one because there were so many. How to drive? Who to vote for? To always try new things? To keep your car clean? (I learned it, just choose to ignore). To work hard? He definitely taught by example there. To love the out of doors? I would live in a lake if I could, all his doing. I finally boiled it down to two. Make time for your family, and keep God a priority.

My dad worked constantly when I was little, and to be honest my mom was probably our primary care giver because he had to be stuck in an office, or sometimes even out of town for business. While I do have lots of fun daily memories with him (tickles when he got home, eating dinner together, going to the lake after work in the summer) the day to day monotony of child-rearing was done by my mom. All of the baths, the stories, the songs, the doctor’s appointments, field trips, grilled cheese sandwiches, and schlepping us from place to place was done by her. I know that The Son is going to feel the same way because his dad is the same place mine was, work. All the time The Son asks “Where Daddy?”, I try to explain that he has to work so that I can hang out with you, but of course he does not get it. I remember thinking when I was young that my dad was so much more fun, so much cooler, than my mother, and I am sure that hurt her feelings. I feel that way already when I hear The Husband get all of the hugs and kisses and giggles as soon as he walks in the door. Some days I feel all I get are the tears, whines, thrown food, and dirty diapers, but of course that is not true. On the weekends when I am sure that my father was tired, he got all of the chores done quick, and then we always–ALWAYS, did something fun together as a family. We went hiking, swimming, for a drive, to the movies, we did a project together–something that we would remember and enjoy (mostly anyway, I do seem to have not so good memories of being in a canoe as it disintegrated over a rapid). We never felt like he was to busy for us, even though he probably was. Whenever I have a chance to do something I enjoy, I always choose to do with my family first, and that is because of him.

Something else he always made time for was church. I have probably spent years of my life at one church activity or another. ( I met someone who did not know what VBS was earlier this week, can you believe it!?) When I was a teenager my father started being an adult volunteer for our church’s youth group. Basically that means he made sure no one got killed while a youth minister tried to teach us something. He sat in on discussions, that we would then continue on the way home. He went on skiing and camping trips, and always looked like he knew what he was doing. I had kids all the time tell me how cool he was, and I was (am) always proud of him. I think that is probably a pretty rare thing for a teenager to think, much less admit to. He was a volunteer for well over a decade, when JHJ and I were too old, they begged him to stick around because he was so good, and the teens loved him so much. He would pray in front of us daily, and he never suggested skipping church. Even now, if I miss church for some reason, my whole week is just off. The coolest thing is that I have actually seen him continue to grow in his faith. (my mom too, but this is about my father). It is inspiring to see that you can mature so much as a Christian after that initial Aha moment. I see so many women who come to church without their husbands, or fathers, and every Sunday I get to sit on a pew that goes like this: The Husband, Me, Dad with The Son on his lap, Mom, Grandma, and Grandpa. How lucky am I?

This is a picture of him as a kid, I guess I should say that he learned his lessons from his dad well. Happy Father’s Day Dad.

Filed under Family-blame the DNA |