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Have you ever had your Library card cut up? Um, me either.
March 1st, 2008
I got another nasty letter from the Library today. So begins the cycle of enjoyment, guilt, and shame.
You see….confession time….I am a bad book borrower. I go to the library and get armfuls of books, voraciously fly through all of them in a week or two, return them and only go back for story time with The Son for weeks at a time. After a month I get a letter, “Dear Mrs. Hey You, Our records show that the books Bodice Ripper in Bali, and Natural Family Planning (side note: Have y’all actually read about Natural Birth Control? You can only have sex six days a month and those are the days you least feel like having it!! It should be called Birth Control by Abstinence) have not been returned and are four weeks past due. Please return them immediately and if this is a problem please contact us at blah blah blah.” No big deal, I casually look for the missing books that are lost because I never really read them and they never made it out of the car.
A month later, “Dear Mrs. Hey You, We here at the County library depend on our borrowers to return books so that we can keep our costs low. You still have not returned Bodice Ripper in Bali (horny much? Try reading less and using The Pill instead of that hippie natural crap), and Natural Family Planning ( you know this does not work right? Look at Michelle Duggar) Your borrowing privileges have been revoked until the mentioned items have been returned or paid for. Blah, Blah, Blah.” I have the good grace to at least feel slightly ashamed that I have lost library books, AGAIN. I look for them in the garage thinking that the husband dumped them in there when he cleaned out my car. Nope. Oh well. La-de-dah, I will worry about that another day.
Next month, “Listen up Lady! Give us back our damn books! We LOANED them to you. That means you GIVE THEM BACK!! We are all talking about you and your book choices and we have plastered them all over the internet for people to laugh at, (ha ha, I already did that, that’ll show you!) You may not ever come here again if you do not give us back our books!!” The Husband sees this one, finds the books, drives to the library, pays the two dollar late fine, apologizes for me, and has my card re-instated. I hide in car, ashamed to show my face.
The next week I check out arm loads of books and promptly lose The Passion in Paris and Parenting Toddlers for Dummies.
4 Responses to “Have you ever had your Library card cut up? Um, me either.”
I don’t feel so bad for “borrowing” Wicked for a year or so now.
I had to laugh because I’m bad at returning books, too. DVD’s are my big downfall, because you have to renew them each week. Somehow I always remember about 2 days later. Its still cheaper than Blockbuster.
FYI I stopped by from The Nest.
Thanks for visiting Tanya! Come back and send others.
So, I checkout out audio books and turned them in late, paid the fine only to discover that 1 was still missing. Eventually, my card is suspended. Commence to using hubby’s card. Books never get turned in and start getting hate mail about hubby’s card. Whoops! 1.5 years later the audio books are still in my car. Sorry hubby. So, you’re not alone.